Introduction
This second section of the handbook talks through many facets of personal leadership. The main focus of this section is to assist you leading you for the benefit of you, but there are also extra down- stream benefits, mindful of the saying, that you can’t (and probably should not) effectively lead others if you can’t first lead yourself!
“The most powerful leadership tool you have is your own personal example.” – John Wooden (1910-2010), UCLA Coach
Motivation: Why does Personal Leadership Matter?
Why not lead yourself to be the best version of yourself, first for you and then later for the benefit of others you care about or who depend on you? If you are a new team or project manager and you work on these areas of personal leadership, you will be a happier person and you will also be a team or project manager that delivers better results. I would also say the reverse. If you are a manager and you are not in control of the main areas cited in this leadership section, then trouble awaits you around some corner.
The Essence
Meaningful and effective leadership should and does begin with you, for you. However, do not take my word. Please read and judge for yourself. Moreover, if you believe that the information in the following pages is likely to help you personally or professionally, then do take the same REP and “Start|Evolve” approach to the practices in this Personal Leadership section, as described earlier.
Time Out
What aspects of your life/personal leadership are in great shape and worth keeping in great shape? What aspects would you like to work / improve?
Manage Your Energy (Ten Factors)
Introduction
There is a natural relationship between your personal energy levels and your fulfilment from life. This is a very important relationship; the better and the healthier your energy levels are, the more you will get out of your limited time on this earth. Consider this wonderful quote from Aristotle: “The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”
Motivation: Why Manage Your Energy?
Why are we talking about managing your energy in a personal and collaborative leadership handbook? Let me give you one reason. What if you have lots of free time but low energy? In this case it is very likely that you are not going to get much done for yourself or others.
This chapter asks five questions on the physical factors and five different questions on the emotional factors that typically affect our energy levels. The chapter also discusses these factors and is bold enough to make suggestions for you. Time Management tips and tricks are covered in the later chapters of this Section 2.
The Essence
If your physical and emotional energy is good (and you can make it so) then anything is possible. However, if your personal energy is low (physically or emotionally) and even if you have all the time in the world, you may achieve very little of what you need or desire.
Time Out
“How good are your energy levels? What gives you positive energy? What drains your energy?”
Take a couple of minutes to do a personal audit and commit to paper how you feel you are doing with your energy levels as you start into this chapter.
Energy Audit: Five Physical Factors
The first part of the energy audit addresses five areas that affect the physical side of your personal energy levels.
Physical Factor No. 1: Sleep
The first question to ask yourself is: Are you getting enough sleep? Now, obviously, if you are not, there is no way you can have the energy to do all that you need and want to do.
Top performing athletes report that they typically need over eight and a half hours sleep each night. For you, this number could be different and that is fine. It could be six hours, or it might be more. Either way, you definitely want to avoid a bad sleep cycle that could go something like this:
- It is late at night and you have not yet done everything you need to do today.
- You are a bit tired, and you take some food on-board to get the required energy.
- The food is probably sugar-laden and might include coffee or even alcohol.
- With this new false energy, you stay up a bit later and you get stuff done.
- However, with the extra food in your system, you do not sleep as well as you normally do.
- You then find it harder to get out of bed in the morning; you skip breakfast and you do not exercise. And so, the cycle continues.
You need to break a cycle like this. There are many recent studies showing the impact of sleep deprivation and poor sleep quality on our health, energy levels, and work productivity. Every aspect of your life can be improved with more, better quality sleep.
The ideal goal is that you go to bed when you are tired and not much later. Pretty radical, huh? The best advice is to switch off your phone and computer an hour or more before you sleep, and not to have your bedroom very bright and also to have the bedroom cool and certainly not too hot. Ideally you go to bed somewhat relaxed. Continuing with the ideal, you do not set an alarm and instead wake up when you are refreshed. Now that may be a stretch and it may take you a while to get there, but this is an ideal scenario to aim for.
The key first question is ‘are you getting enough sleep?’ If not, what are you going to do about this in order to maximize your energy?
Physical Factor No. 2: Diet
Second question: How is your diet? How are your meals? Do they maximize your energy?
For example, do you start your day properly with a healthy breakfast? Do you eat a reasonable amount of fruit and vegetables throughout the day? Have you a good intake of water? Do you limit your intake of coffee? Do you curb eating late at night, especially large meals? Are you avoiding excessive sugar intake?
We do wonder from time-to-time what foods are good for us and what not. It is a topic that is covered so widely that my guess is you know already what a good diet entails. It is however no harm to read on the topic, as this research will form a positive part of your change of any eating habits you feel necessary or helpful. You will find no shortage of material on this topic, and I encourage you to open your browser and search and enjoy the research, and then start to eat healthier. Do not wait, start today.
If you do want to dig a bit deeper into this topic, a book that sticks out for me is ‘Eat, Sleep, Move’ by Tom Rath, who has a rare genetic disorder that has led to cancer in his eye, kidney, pancreas, adrenal glands, and spine. Tom Rath reviewed hundreds of studies to figure how to slow the growth of new tumors and spread of existing cancers. What he learned about healthy eating (and living) is in this fabulous book.
In summary, does your food intake maximize your energy levels? If not, how are you going to reorganize your time so that you have time to eat and drink properly to give you lots of energy so you can make the most of your life?
Physical Factor No. 3: Exercise
The third question in this part of the energy audit: Are you getting enough physical exercise?
Now, of course you are going to ask, ‘What is enough?’. Let me give you a simple definition of enough: more than you did yesterday, more than last week, more than last month. Gradually build it up bit by bit in a safe and healthy way. If you are doing a bit more than before, you are doing enough.
What is the ultimate goal? The goal for the average person is to exercise three to five times per week with each session lasting about thirty to sixty minutes. You should try to get to a level of moderate-to-strenuous exertion in these sessions.
There are many types of exercise; you just need to find the pattern that works for you. If you are fortunate enough to live reasonably close to the office, you can cycle to work as part of your exercise routine. This is a very efficient and healthy use of time. The benefits of exercise are well researched and one such study published in the April 2017 issue of the British Medical Journal1 reports that “Cycle commuting was associated with a lower risk of cardiovascular disease (CVD), cancer, and all-cause mortality”. Perhaps you are lucky enough to live by a lake or the sea, as I do, and a swim in the ocean before breakfast is a fabulous way to start your day. Really wakes you up when you are tired, especially in the depths of winter! Perhaps your office is near a sportsground, a wooden area, or some walking paths. Maybe you can take a lunchtime stroll.
Perhaps you can do some physical exercise at home as you start your day. My daughter pointed me to a phone app, ‘7 Minute Workout’, which I now recommend to you. This is a good all- round set of twelve exercises, especially when you do two or three sets in a row. In any event, find safe and enjoyable exercise that works for you and build this exercise pattern into your daily schedule, if it is not there already. Make this a part of your daily habit.
When you expend energy on exercise, you are going to get a huge amount of energy back, especially if you implement healthy eating and sleeping habits. You will have heard people say that the more you give away without asking for anything in return, the more you seem to receive. It is in giving that we receive. So, it is with exercise. Exercise is one of the gifts that keeps on giving.
Consider this, the day you do not feel like exercising, may well be the day you need to exercise most. Every paper, article, and interview I read on low-moods, stress, anxiety, and depression recommends exercise as part of the get better plan.
In summary, have you time allocated in your schedule for exercise, so you get more energy, and thus get more out of your life?
Physical Factor No. 4: Breaks
The fourth question in the physical factors stakes: Do you take enough breaks? You are probably now saying, ‘Éamonn, what is going on? We will soon be talking about making the most of time and you want me to take breaks?!’
Well, ironically, you do need to take breaks during the workday – in the morning, at lunchtime, and in the afternoon – to keep your energy levels up. Sitting for too long is known to cause many health problems and can also really drain your energy. Get up from your desk and walk about during the day. Have standing or walking meetings. Spend a minute or two stretching at your desk. Some people enjoy and benefit from a short nap during the day. Go outside and get some fresh air.
You also need to take breaks away from work in the evening and at the weekends. Ideally, every four to six weeks, you get away for a day or two and do something completely different, a real break. And you certainly need an annual vacation. Maybe you can take a longer sabbatical break from work every few years. Taking breaks throughout the day, the week, the month, and the year will help you discharge and recharge, and give you more energy. Breaks work!
Ask yourself – ‘do you take enough breaks?’ Does your typical schedule facilitate real breaks, so that you can maximize your energy and get the most out of your time?
Physical Factor No. 5: Hobbies
Fifth and final question in the physical factor energy stakes: Do you have hobbies? I do not mean work related hobbies, rather hobbies that take you to a different physical and mental place. Maybe it is music, comedy, tennis, golf, football, film, theatre, gardening, community work or the beach. Can you go to a different physical and/or mental place that really takes you away from your work?
We live in very busy times, where it might seem as if we have no time for hobbies. However, the positive energy you will get from a hobby will help you be a happier person and will as a consequence will help make the rest of your life go better. It will be a worthwhile investment.
You might be wondering what hobbies are right for you. I guess the only way to find out is to try a few. Make a list of candidate hobbies and find some time to try one of them at a time until a hobby clicks with and for you. With a bit of research and trial you will find a hobby that floats your boat and that fits into your schedule somewhere. Give it a shot!
In summary, do you have hobbies that give you energy and life? If not, how are you going to adjust your time usage, so that you find and then build in space for such hobbies?
Physical Factors: Summary
How did you do in this audit? If you scored a perfect five out of five, then you are in great shape and you can consider yourself exceptionally lucky. You are in a significant minority.
If, however, you are like most of us and have room for improvement (the biggest room in the house, as they say) then take time out to decide how you will address one or more of the physical factors you believe are important for your better energy management.
I am in no way trying to say that these five physical factors are the only ones that affect your energy levels – so please do extrapolate and use these questions to prompt further personal reflection on any other physical factors that may be draining your energy.
Energy Audit: Five Emotional Factors
The second part of the energy audit addresses five areas that affect the emotional side of your energy, which in turn can have a real effect on your personal energy levels.
Physical Factor No. 1: Career and Work Choices
First question: Are you happy with the career and work choices that you have made thus far?
Some people say to me, ‘Éamonn, work is not that important.’ I am afraid that I cannot agree. You work from pretty much nine am to five or six pm each day, and many of us probably longer. You do this from Monday to Friday and some of us work at weekends. You do this for roughly forty-eight weeks of the year. Some people sadly more. You do this from age eighteen, nineteen, or twenty-two to age sixty or sixty-five or seventy. You are giving the best hours, the best days, the best weeks, and the best years of your life to work. You have no better time to give.
It is madness not to be happy at work a reasonable amount of the time. It is crazy not to enjoy work. If this is the situation you are in, and many people are, then you should do something about it. Change the work you are doing in your current job or change jobs or change career. This may take time – but invest this time.
My brother did just this, quit his job and went back to college at age nearly fifty. Do not tell him I told you! He accepted responsibility. He changed so that he will do something very different for the next fifteen or so years. He is definitely happier. What a way to go. A fabulous example to us all.
If, on the other hand, you are happy in your career and you are happy with your work choices, what are you doing to invest in your career? What are you doing to make the most of it? If this is the best time of your life, what are you doing to absolutely maximize your happiness and your success at work? What is your career investment plan, and how are you fitting this into your schedule and time management approach? What do you want from life? This time will pass. How do you want to look back on this period of your work? A searching but very important set of questions!
Dan Pink, a great researcher, thinker, and a wonderful author, has written lots about what motivates us at work. He cites three factors: autonomy (the desire to be self-directed), purpose (doing work that makes a difference beyond ourselves) and mastery (the wish to get better at something important to us). Malcolm Gladwell in his truly engaging book, “Outliers”, cites three factors that produce meaningful work: autonomy (being in control of our own choices), complexity (mastering skills) and a direct connection between effort and reward (might be financial, spiritual, or other). Combining the research of these great thinkers gives us four factors for meaningful and motivating work: autonomy, mastery/complexity, purpose and a direct connection between effort and reward.
Where does your work stand on these four elements? When you go to work, are you fulfilling a contract to get paid or are you building a rewarding career or are you fulfilling a true calling? Which is it – contract, career or calling – and which do you want it to be? And what are you going to do about this? The answers to these tough questions will have a significant bearing of your emotional energy.
Physical Factor No. 2: Negative Emotions
Second question: Do you have a coping mechanism to deal with strong negative emotions? For many people, strong negative emotions are more regular than they desire given their personal situation, their work situation, and sometimes their personality.
In some cases, these strong emotions are necessary to help us move to where we need to be. Sometimes these emotions are signals that are trying to rock us to a different place. When we hit a hot surface or put our finger on a cooker, we take our finger up quickly. We know what to do. The sudden heat from the hot surface is a signal to act. What is your equivalent with strong negative emotions? Do you know what to do? What is your approach to dealing with strong negative emotions? If we let these emotions fester, they will sap all our energy and we will not be able to deal with the real situation at hand.
There is a most beautiful poem called “The Guest House” by Rumi that starts with these lines … “This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.” The poem goes on to talk about the arrivals, “A joy, a depression, a meanness”. In the middle of the poem, Rumi suggests we “treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.” The poem advises we “meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.” The poem concludes by saying, we should “Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” A poem worth reading, enjoying, and reflecting on.
We need to acknowledge the strong negative emotion and recognize, ‘this is a signal, it is a message, I need to and can do something about this’. We can then apply our energy to doing something constructive about the situation, rather than staying too long in a state of stress and anxiety. If we can do this and I know it is hard, and sometimes it is very difficult, then we are on a restorative path.
- One way to work with strong negative emotions is to use a “Receive, Review and Reframe” approach.
- Receive the negative emotion. At one level, you have very little choice here. A negative emotion often arrives, whether you like it or not. In this “Receive” stage, you acknowledge that this is indeed a negative or difficult emotion. You become more aware and mindful of the negativity. As of yet you have not done much with the negativity, but being aware and acknowledging the negativity is an important first step.
- Review the negative emotion to see what it is telling you and to figure where it is coming from. You may not like what you discover but at least you will know. You can and should reflect on why this situation is giving you such grief. Go to the root cause. Why are your feelings negative at this point? There is usually a reason – justifiable or not. Figure why this strong emotion has come to visit.
- Reframe, realign, or refocus. You can of course stay in the negativity, but this is not healthy for you and generally, it is not productive. So now that you know what is causing the negativity, what is your course of action, what are you going to do. Armed with this new knowledge you now have a choice to make, you do not have to be stuck in the negativity. Bring yourself to a healthier state.
Some emotions can be so overpowering for us that any rational thought process is unlikely. One way to deal with the immediate effect of such strong negative emotions is to seek a positive distraction. This can be music for some people. Others keep a list of online motivational talks to visit for inspiration from time to time. I myself love music, a great mood changer, and I also find a period of sustained calm breathing outside in the fresh air helpful.
In one of John Powell’s more famous books, ‘Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?’, there is a wonderful quote that neatly summarizes what I am trying to say here; “your emotions and how you deal with them will probably make or break you in the adventure of life.”
I am not suggesting for a minute that the few paragraphs above are the complete answer, but let me give you the questions and you can then go find the answers that are right for you. The questions are … ‘Do you get strong negative emotions? Do they hold you back? Do they take too much of your energy? If so, do have you a coping mechanism? If not, can you develop ways to deal with this?’ Not a trivial set of questions I know, but these are very important questions in terms of your energy levels. We will revisit this topic in the next chapter, ‘Sharpen Your Attitude to Life (Nine Elements)’.
Physical Factor No. 3: Gratitude and Reflection
Third question in the emotional stakes: ‘Do you take time out to practice gratitude and reflection?’ This can be very simple. Some people will achieve this with meditation and other people have similar practices. Are you doing something like this?
Let me explain some more. Do you ever find from time-to-time that you, as they say, smell the coffee and you love the smell? You stop and smell the roses? Maybe a friend came through for you. Perhaps you really notice the wonderful colors of nature. Maybe you experience a glorious sunrise or sunset. You just happen to look, and you say, ‘Oh my God, isn’t life great?’. Whenever this happens, you get great energy, and you feel good. You get a rush. You get peace.
If this is the case, why wouldn’t you take time out periodically to recreate this feeling? Maybe invest five to ten minutes of every day to practice reflection and gratitude and get this positive energy. What would this kind of practice look like? Here are three simple steps:
- Firstly, and critically, you start this process by expressing gratitude for at least one good thing in your day so far, and take time to savor the feeling of this positive memory.
- Secondly, you then reflect on how the day has proceeded so far, the good and the bad, by rummaging through the day, hour-by-hour, or activity by activity since you got up. As you remember each item, you might move on quickly or you might reflect on some more carefully. Maybe you are happy with how you managed each situation and maybe not. Perhaps with the benefit of hindsight, you could have handled some of the situations better.
- Thirdly, decide how you want the rest of the day to proceed, mindful of what you are grateful for and what you learned from looking back on today so far.
A daily process like this can give you bundles of energy. If you think about it, if you are convinced that you should do some physical exercise and you see the benefits, why wouldn’t you invest in some emotional or mind exercises?
Why wouldn’t you give five or ten minutes every day or every few days to a simple 3-step practice. It is an adaptation of the Examen as introduced by Ignatius of Loyola in his landmark book, ‘The Spiritual Exercises’, from 1548. With this kind of practice, you get the benefits of more energy to make the most of the precious time you have.
Physical Factor No. 4: Relationships
Fourth set of questions: ‘Do you spend enough time with family and friends in nurturing relationships? Do you have a shoulder you can cry on? Are you a shoulder your friends can cry on? Do you have someone you can talk to? Do you have someone to share your frustrations and joys with?’ Very important questions from both an emotional and energy point of view.
As humans, there are things we do really need to talk out. Often, we are thinking things in our head and when we say them aloud to another person we then figure, ‘Oh that is not what I meant at all.’ This can sometimes happen as soon as the words come out of our mouth! The very act of verbalizing our thoughts is often instructive. Just having somebody to bounce stuff off can be very helpful.
As you are thinking this through, consider the opposite question: “Are there people in your life that sap your energy, who make you feel down?”. You need to be careful to avoid these people if at all possible or, if this not possible, have a coping mechanism. My grandfather used to say, ‘Show me your friends, and I will tell you who you are”. This speaks to the affect our relationships have on our character and temperament. I assume he might also agree with the following: ‘Tell me how your friends are, and I will likely know how you are”.
So, a question well worth considering: Do you spend enough time in nurturing relationships with family and friends?
Physical Factor No. 5: It is Not All about You!
Fifth and final factor in the emotional stakes is headlined: ‘It is not all about you.’ Consider the following: Are there times in your day, week, month, and year when you give to others without counting the cost? Where you look after folks that need your help? Are you giving of yourself to others?
Perhaps right now is not a time in your life when you can do this outside of work. Maybe you have young children or a sick relative and every spare second needs to go into them as is appropriate. This is your very generous giving to others. Do not worry if you cannot give much time to others outside of work.
Maybe there are folks at work you can help when they are not expecting it. If you are helpful to others, you will typically get their gratitude in return and most likely feel better as a result.
The fifth question in summary: Is there a piece of you that privately and unselfishly gives to others and without ego? Apart from the fact that this is the right thing to do, this will typically help increase your energy levels.
Emotional Factors: Summary
How did you do with these five factors on the emotional side? If you got the perfect score, you are the unique living saint. If you scored poorly, then welcome to the club. You are a human like the rest of us and you have nothing to worry about. However, you do have items to work! These five emotional factors are not the only ones that affect your energy levels – so please do extrapolate and use these questions to prompt further reflection and then action.
Perhaps right now is not a time in your life when you can do this outside of work. Maybe you have young children or a sick relative and every spare second needs to go into them as is appropriate. This is your very generous giving to others. Do not worry if you cannot give much time to others outside of work.
Maybe there are folks at work you can help when they are not expecting it. If you are helpful to others, you will typically get their gratitude in return and most likely feel better as a result.
The fifth question in summary: Is there a piece of you that privately and unselfishly gives to others and without ego? Apart from the fact that this is the right thing to do, this will typically help increase your energy levels.
Early Mornings and the Habit of Positive Energy
You may well be wondering where to start with better management of your personal energy. Much of this comes down to habit and discipline. If you get into the habit of positive energy practices, then you will have better energy. Not always easy, I know. One way to make a start is to give the very first part of your day to the practices that you select as helpful for your energy levels. In the Irish language, we have an old saying, “Tús maith, leath na hoibre” (“a good start is half the work”).
I have selected five practices that I now know are helpful to jumpstart my day in the right way and I get up at 5:15am to do just this. These are: (i) an exercise/prayer for the spirit, (ii) a physical body workout, (iii) a sea swim, (iv) an affirming visualization exercise for the mind and (v) learning something new for fun and to exercise the brain muscle. I call this my “5 at 5:15”. I am doing it long enough that is now part of my habit/routine. This early rise at 5:15am is not a macho thing, it is purely pragmatic. Trust me, I do not get up at this time for the sake of getting up early! In order to properly fit in these five items and then a shower and a good breakfast and to be at work for 8am, I need to start by rising at this time.
Exactly what I do in the early morning and exactly when I do this is not so important and is provided here by way of one example. Indeed, the specifics of my routine tend to change every six or nine months. What is important is that I want better energy and I give the first and best part of my day to helping in this quest. I find this really helpful. This works.
If you believe that the amount of energy you enjoy is important to your physical and emotional wellbeing, why not consider making this the first investment of your day, before the day runs away from you?
Summary of Manage Your Energy
This chapter started with a quote from Aristotle: “The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”
What this chapter is aiming to do is help you unlock extra energy (physical and emotional) to make the most use of your time and life. To help unlock this hidden energy that you have, the chapter has discussed and asked questions on:
- five physical factors to help your energy levels
- five emotional factors to improve your energy levels
- an early morning energy investment routine.
Questions for an “Energy” REP
Start: If you have conducted a personal energy audit, you will likely have identified a few candidates for improvement. Pick one or two suggestions when you are ready or feel the need to REP this area.
Evolve: Return to this chapter periodically and REP the other energy factors you deem helpful.
Sharpen Your Attitude to Life (Nine Elements)
Introduction
“Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” – Henry Ford
I have loved and used this quote for years, but it may not have originated from Henry Ford at all! The quote certainly epitomizes the attitude of Ford, but I can find no verifiable reference or citation. In researching for this handbook, I did see one similar quote by Virgil in “The Aeneid” that reads “Possunt, quia posse videntur (They can, because they think they can).” My Latin teacher would be pleased! Let us assume someone way wiser than you or I crafted this “Henry Ford” saying, and let us enjoy it, wherever it came from.
Motivation: Why Sharpen Your Attitude to Life?
Imagine that your next assignment is very challenging. You are thinking about the team members you have joined up with. One person exudes a very positive attitude, and the next person has an average enough attitude, as best you can tell. Whom do you look forward to working with? All other things being equal, this is an easy enough question to answer.
Attitude really matters. At work or in our personal life we do not know for sure what is coming next. It is best if we ourselves and the people around us have a healthy attitude, so we are able to deal with and navigate the natural ups and downs that life throws our way.
The Essence
At work, with your family and in life more broadly, you have the cards you have for now. Maybe you dealt the cards to yourself or maybe someone else dealt them. What matters now is how you deal with the hand of cards you have. In this regard, your attitude really matters. If you wish to be a leader first for yourself and then for others – whether you are the manager or not – it is important that you exhibit a healthy attitude. You want your attitude to be more of a growth mindset than a fixed mindset. You need to recruit more of your brain to help this shift.
Viktor Frankl in his famous and fabulous book, “Man’s Search for Meaning” (that I highly recommend), wrote from his World War Two concentration camp experiences (situations infinitely worse than we will ever face): “what alone remains is ‘the last of human freedoms’ – the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.” Attitude is a choice. We have the freedom and power to choose.
A healthy attitude is not something that we easily attain. For most of us mere mortals, attitude is something we have to grow, nurture, and sharpen from time to time, which thankfully is very doable.
Time Out
Ask yourself these four deep questions, the three Hs and the potential question.
- Are you happy? (a fair amount of the time)
- Are you healthy?
- Are you helpful to others?
- Are you reaching your full potential, or on track to do so?
Making the Attitude Investment
If you answered ‘Yes’ to the four questions above, you are very fortunate, and I suspect you are intentionally investing in yourself. And if this is the case, then you are sadly in the minority. If you answer ‘No’ to some of these questions, let me ask you a final question for now. Are you prepared to invest to turn some of these ‘No’ answers to ‘Yes’? If you answered ‘Yes’ to this last question, then this chapter has ideas for you.
Attitude and Habits
There are many practices in the other chapters of this handbook that will help you transform some of the above ‘No’ to ‘Yes’ answers. If I had to select one chapter in particular, it would be “Manage Your Energy (Ten Factors)”. This last chapter could also have been labeled “Get Happy and Healthy” (or combined with this “Attitude” chapter, it might be called “A Path to Resilience”).
The “Manage Your Energy” chapter discusses very helpful and practical investments for you to consider, starting with five physical factors:
- Sleep well
- Eat healthily
- Take physical exercise
- Enjoy breaks
- Give time to non-work hobbies.
The chapter continues with five emotional factors:
- Be happy with your career
- Manage negative emotions
- Practice gratitude and reflection
- Invest in healthy relationships
- Give of yourself to others.
The two upcoming chapters on Time Management suggest many useful practices including:
- Set and reset personal and professional goals
- Make the best use of your time with schedules and routines
- Have a coach / mentor to accompany you.
The next chapter, “Know Your Personality (Two Great Mirrors)”, introduces two models, The Enneagram and The Myers- Briggs Type Indicator®, to help you understand your personality profile, strengths, traps, and leadership preferences. How you are wired and what you do with that wiring also affects your attitude. Back to this chapter for now!
Take Your Own Drugs
Intuitively we know that many of the practices above can and do help us become healthier and happier. But there is now research on the brain to explain how this comes about. I was never much good at Biology at school, but I am now fascinated by the recent advances in understanding the physiology of the brain and its relationship to psychology.
The brain communicates with itself by sending out chemical information – neurotransmitters – from one neuron to another. The brain is like a chemist, naturally producing drugs. The chemicals we hear most about are dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin, and cortisol.
Here follows a very simple explanation from a non-scientist!
Dopamine: We are learning that low levels of the chemical dopamine are associated with self-doubt, lack of motivation, and low self-esteem. We also know that dopamine is associated with pleasure and reward. Dopamine is released when we achieve a goal, we have set for ourselves. This helps us understand the “success breeds success” phenomenon; we all enjoy the excitement of a reward. Therefore, it is good practice to set smaller, near term goals to increase the levels of dopamine flowing in the reward network of the brain. It is also fascinating to note that with each surge of your own drugs, the brain creates more receiving stations. This means that the next success will have an even bigger effect. Success breeds success, and now we know why!
Serotonin: Research is also teaching us that high levels of the chemical serotonin are associated with people who have meaning and purpose in their lives. Serotonin is known as the ‘happy molecule’ and is associated with a positive outlook on life. The research also explains that practices such as gratitude release more serotonin into the brain. This is another reason (as if you need one!) to practice gratitude and reflection as suggested in the previous chapter.
Endorphins: You have likely heard of endorphins and runners high. These chemicals are released in response to pain and stress. Endorphins, a naturally occurring chemical, trigger a physical response similar to morphine. If you smile, laugh, and exercise more, you will release your own endorphins.
Oxytocin: And then there is oxytocin, also known as the ‘love hormone’. Oxytocin is released by giving and receiving more hugs each day. On a similar vein, there is a wonderful longitudinal study running out of Harvard in Boston on the subject of adult development and what makes a good life. You will find a great talk on TED (November 2015) by Robert Waldinger explaining this study and the findings. The study shows that healthy relationships are the largest influencing factor for a longer, healthier life span.
Cortisol: Not all naturally occurring chemicals are helpful in the long term. For example, cortisol, the chemical the brain produces when we are under stress, kills neurons. Cortisol is part of our ‘fight or flight’ reaction to threats and stress, and the associated loss of feeling in control. The production of cortisol should stop when the threat passes. Unfortunately, our busy, fast paced lives often mean that the flow of cortisol is constant as we are frequently stressed, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and other health problems. However, the good news is that research also tells us that we can grow new neurons in the hippocampus part of the brain. Serotonin and oxytocin also both reduce cortisol levels. Amazing really.
In summary, there is a strong correlation between the chemicals being released in your brain and the good habits you adopt, so the fuzzier area of your psychology is helped by your actual physiology.
Why Attitude?
So why do we need a separate chapter on ‘Attitude’ in this handbook? We now know that attitude and good habits are interlinked. Consider this circular relationship:
- Take on some of the good habits you find in this handbook or elsewhere and your attitude will improve
- Invest in a more positive attitude and it will be easier to adopt good habits
- Lather, rinse, repeat.
You may read the practices suggested in these chapters and like them but still do nothing with them or at least do nothing substantial. In some of these cases, a healthy attitude will be the key needed to help you unlock and remove the blocks within. And very often many of the blocks are within. My mother sent me a note one day from a sports broadcaster quoting his mother: “The miles are ahead of you, but the blocks are within.” And as we know, mothers know best!
Nine Elements of Attitude
Let us assume that you would like to adopt some or perhaps many of the suggested practices in this handbook as routine habits. How do you get to a place where you are naturally practicing these habits? Attitude has a massive part to play. The next logical question becomes, how do you sharpen your attitude over time? Here follow nine elements of attitude for you to consider and work, as you see fit.
1. Find Your Motivation
It is typically hard to make a change of any significance without some motivation. The bigger the change desired, the larger the motivation required. Can you think of any reasons that you wish to change your attitude? Find your motivation. Ask yourself, “what is my why?”.
A good place to start could be the answers to the four questions in the reflective exercise above. Maybe you want to be happier? Perhaps you wish to be healthier? Or you would like to be more helpful to others (e.g., family, friends, work colleagues, less fortunate, etc.)? Might it be you believe that you are not yet reaching your full potential? As you remember these answers, keep asking yourself ‘why’ until you get to the root reason, the real why. What is it that you really want and why is this? True motivation will typically help trigger an attitude change. This motivation can be the foundation from which you start to sharpen your attitude.
2. Have a Life Purpose
One of my sisters often says, “that is the honors course!” when we talk about something challenging. This harps back to a time when we could elect to take some subjects at school at a ‘pass’ or ‘honors’ level. The ‘Life Purpose’ question is definitely the ‘honors course’!
If you dig deep enough and search long enough, you might well find a life purpose. This requires a personal investment. Your purpose will likely adjust or even change as you navigate life. It may change as you and your circumstances change. If you can find and be guided by a life purpose, for a few months or years at a time, then your path through life will typically be accompanied by a healthier attitude.
I was in Dallas airport on a short stopover from Boston heading to Mexico City for work when I spotted a book called “The Power of Purpose” by Richard J. Leider. I bought the book, read it and ‘worked it’ on that business trip. It asked me some great questions. Sometimes all you need is the space to answer questions for yourself. To be honest, I had forgotten about the book until writing this paragraph, as this was almost twenty years ago. I found the book and I see my own purpose written in the book, which interestingly enough has remained pretty much the same since. Today I do wonder will it remain so for the next twenty years. I can still see myself sitting in the sun in the back of Luis and Gloria’s house in Mexico City answering these questions. I well remember this very positive experience.
If you can answer the ‘Life Purpose’ question or begin to answer it, then your attitude will get a lift for sure. If you cannot or are not ready to, then have no fear, as this may come to you later. However, do go back to the prior section on “Find Your Motivation”, as this will be of help in sharpening a healthy attitude for you.
3. Can Do, Take Responsibility
I have a friend, Neil, who once explained to me that being responsible means being able to respond. Neil does not remember saying this, but it has stuck with me.
There was a saying among some of the older generation in Ireland when I was growing up that suggested “what is for you, will not pass you by”. The response from the younger Irish generation was more akin to “if it is to be, it is up to me”. I was very fortunate to be close to both of my parents and to two of my grandparents (one from each side of the family) and they were definitely in the latter camp. I can still remember the tone of my grandmother’s voice as she quite forcibly explained to me, at the age of five, “there is no such thing as you can’t”. I found out since that she was right! I will be forever grateful for both this insightful lesson and the vivid memory.
Later I modified this lesson into my own version: “you can do anything you want to do in life, you just have to want to do it”. This, of course, brings us back to the motivation question from the last few paragraphs. It is very important to be persistent and to persevere. There is such a thin line between what is perceived as success and what is perceived as failure. Never give up if your dream or goal is important to you. Why should you? Perseverance pays. Push yourself. Be ambitious. Take the long view. Reach for your potential. You can.
I ask you to consider the following. You are responsible for your own desired outcomes. You are able to respond. You do not have to accept the status quo. You need to adopt a ‘can do’ attitude for a healthier, happier, and more fulfilled life. You need to take personal responsibility as a key part of your personal leadership. You need to cut the excuses and just get on with it.
4. Invest in Good Habits
The good news – you can sharpen your attitude. The realistic news – your attitude may not change dramatically overnight. If you successfully adopt some of the practices in this handbook as relevant for you, you will build confidence and sharpen your attitude. To sustain this level of sharpened attitude, you need to keep up the practices. Consider this like any other investment you make. You need to sow in order to reap. You need to make the good habits habitual. Success will breed more success.
It is also important to remember that your habits, good and bad, and how you interact with the world can have a positive and sometimes a negative effect on those around you at home and at work.
There are various studies on how many days or months it takes to adopt a new practice and make it a habit. In reality there is no one answer as it depends on many factors, e.g., how hard the practice is for you, how motivated are you, etc. Think how long you needed to learn how to walk or ride a bike or drive a car. Mastery requires repetition.
For the purpose of this section, let’s propose the following investment rule of thumb:
- Easy habit: twenty days
- Difficult habit: thirty days
- Very difficult habit: sixty days
- Extremely difficult habit: ninety days (or longer).
I believe it is important to acknowledge that you need to invest enough time to make a worthwhile habit stick. Of course, you will fall off the wagon from time to time, but generally speaking, it will not take as much time the second or third time around to adopt the same habit. So, do not give up!
Maybe consider this three-step GOT process to forming a new habit:
- Set gifts to reward yourself along the way, to enjoy the fruits of your efforts
- Set a specific objective
- Set aside a designated and suitable time each day to bake this new or adjusted practice into your routine.
A healthy attitude helps you take on difficult and new challenges. A healthy attitude helps you deal with life. A healthy attitude is built on the foundation of good habits.
As was explained above, this is a circular and iterative investment process:
- Adopt the attitude that you will take on helpful practices as habits
- Take on these new habits and your attitude will sharpen again -Lather, rinse, repeat.
A sharpened attitude does not come for free. You will need to invest, and adopting good habits is a great investment to help sharpen your attitude.
5. Think Positive Thoughts
We are our thoughts much of the time. We owe it to ourselves, and those near and dear to us, to make these thoughts and therefore ourselves as positive as possible.
We are learning from research that the brain naturally generates more negative thoughts than positive thoughts – maybe by a factor of four to one, depending on the person and the place they are at in life. Because of these learnings, psychologists are explaining that we need to generate more positive thoughts to counteract naturally occurring negative thoughts. The issue is further complicated by the fact that some of these negative thoughts have a large impact, and are often more significant than one single positive thought. Therefore, we need three, four or even five times as many positive thoughts as negative thoughts to put ourselves in a good place.
So, what is happening in the brain? Physiology explains that the neurons fire and then wire together – not always in a good way. Our normal wiring or natural way of reacting is not always positive. The good news is that we can in time rewire the neurons in our brain to react in a healthier manner. I just love this; we can rewire the brain. We do not have to be stuck with attitudes that we are unhappy with and some of which may ultimately be harmful.
Think of it this way. We have an emotion that triggers a set of thoughts, which lead to certain behaviors or responses. For example, I am cycling to work, and some reckless driver comes quickly out of a side road and cuts across me (the situation). I immediately get a fright and then really annoyed (the emotional response). I start to imagine what I will say to the driver when I catch him at the next set of traffic lights (the thoughts), and I am further enraged (more emotions). When I do eventually catch up, I shout at him (the physical response). In the process, I lose lots of the natural calm and energy that I desired and was enjoying from cycling to work. This is not entirely an imagined situation! It might be hard to avoid these situations (bad drivers) and initial emotions (fright and anger), but I can rewire my response with reflection and experience. This is a choice I have once I realize it.
A little bit more on personal choice. Back in the early 1990s, my mother and aunt Alice invited me to a lecture in the local university by a Dr. William Glasser, who coined the phrase and practice of “Reality Therapy” and wrote a book called “Choice Theory”. The example he gave to explain Choice Theory was a patient who was going through a very difficult and stressful marriage breakup. The patient explained that he was depressed. The doctor asked him why. The patient explained that he was depressed because his wife did not love him anymore. The story ended with the doctor agreeing that based on the evidence presented, it was a fact that his wife was leaving and did not love him anymore, but that the patient was choosing to depress. The doctor explained that while the patient could not likely change the fact that his wife was leaving, he could choose how he reacted. It was a fascinating insight. The doctor did not imply that the patient could flick a switch and cease feeling depressed. What he did explain was that somewhere deep down, the depression in this particular case and (and of course not in all cases) was a choice, conscious or otherwise.
This same idea on the power to choose is very cleverly explained in the quote below from an article contained in a 1963 collection called “Behavioral Science and Guidance: Proposals and Perspectives”. This explains that after a stimulus and before we make our response, that there is a space to reflect, and in this space, we have the power to choose what course of action we will take. This is our choice, our freedom, and also our chance to change, grow and nurture our attitude.
“Freedom is the individual’s capacity to know that he is the determined one, to pause between stimulus and response and thus to throw his weight, however slight it may be, on the side of one particular response among several possible ones.”
– Rollo May (psychologist), “Freedom and Responsibility Re-Examined”.
Let me introduce another source of negative thoughts we encounter. We humans have a tendency to over-judge other humans. And we hang on to the negative thoughts associated with these judgements for too long. It is helpful to remember that an action a person carries out does not define that person. Remember it is more honest to judge and dislike the action but not to judge and dislike the person. It is also wise to remember that we humans are a constant work in progress, and the person you meet today will likely be different tomorrow or next week or next month or next year, so do not be too hasty in passing judgement. This will help you think more positive thoughts and therefore act more positively.
In many ways, we are our thoughts, but we do not have to be, especially if these thoughts are negative or in any way limiting us. I like the line from Deepak Chopra, “I am a field of infinite possibilities”. Recent advances in physiology and psychology reveal that we have more control than we knew, as we understand more of what we think and feel. It is much easier to have a healthier attitude when we know how. Understanding this will really help you manage your emotional energy and your outcomes.
We now know that the good habits and practices advocated in this handbook (and in so many other books) release chemicals to make us feel and move better. We also understand we need to proactively counteract the onslaught of negative messages with more positive thoughts. Finally, we recognize that we have more control over reactions to our feelings than we previously realized, and we can actually rewire the neurons in our brains in a positive direction. We can improve our attitude by changing our thoughts in these ways.
If All Else Fails, Get Over Yourself.
If the above does not work, let me leave this section with onefunny but hopefully insightful story. Not so long ago, I was at a birthday party of a school friend, a fiftieth celebration no less. I only give the age to explain how long it is since we were at school together to give the story its proper context. One of the guys (an extremely successful man in his chosen field) was moaning about some of the teachers at school. In retrospect, I believe he was more having fun than moaning, but his wife overheard. As my friend was pouring forth, his wife interrupted and scolded him as follows: “you need to get over yourself”. The room erupted in laughter to hear our eminent professional carpeted by his wife in this manner. It was sweet! However, the phrase has stuck with me ever since, as we do need to just get over ourselves from time to time. How right she was!
6. Work the Worries
The prior section explains that we naturally have many, many negative thoughts each day. I emphasize naturally, as this is how the brain is wired. Some of these thoughts are worries about what might happen. These can be positive as they help us avoid the unpleasant or unwanted. We need these worries and fears to cope and survive. However, we do not need to hold onto these worries for too long. We do not want to be paralyzed by the worries. You often heard the expression, “sick with worry”. I am sure there have been times when you have been sick in the stomach with worry. Doctors tell us that some illnesses are psychosomatic, meaning a physical illness is caused by stresses, strains, and emotional factors.
The real worries can often be messages that we have something to work. At some stage we need to decide to ignore the worry and let it go or to work the worry. So, when you find yourself getting worried, do not beat yourself up for being worried, and do not stay in the worried state. It is a normal part of the human condition. However, do work the worry as soon as you can. You will generally feel much better once you start to work the worry.
I believe that many of our worries are not very serious, once we think them through. Try to get perspective on your worries. As they say, try not to sweat the small stuff.
I originally called this section “Work Your Worries” but then renamed it to “Work the Worries”. Working your own worries is, of course, critical for a healthier attitude. However, this handbook is all about leadership, so it is also important to help others on your team or in your circle to work their worries. This is what a good selfless leader will do. It can also help you personally if those close to you are not so worried, as the general mood and attitude lifts.
7. Fall Upwards
A few years back, I read a book called “Falling Upward” by a Franciscan, Richard Rohr. I loved it. It clicked with me immediately. In fact, I have the book marked with stickeys and every now and again, I go back to it.
One of the main points of the book is that we need to fall to grow. A very simple example is that if we fall off a bike when we are learning to cycle, we will generally learn how to ride a bike properly, confidently, and not too cautiously. The book explains that each fall is the fuel needed to grow, if we can see it that way and grab it.
At home, I would have grown up with the “silver lining in every cloud” philosophy. In my early career, I learned that we should “learn from our mistakes”. I am comfortable that both of these are still true and useful. However, I am increasingly more comfortable with the notion that we need to fall every now and again to grow. “No pain, no gain” as the coach used to tell us on the football field. In this case, the pain is associated with failing or what is perceived as failure.
The “Falling Upward” book brings forward some other interesting points. For example, we need to let ourselves off the hook when we fall, and we need to forgive ourselves. In this way, we will be more tolerant of the falls that others have and then we will be able to help in their growth. We may need to forgive ourselves and others earlier and more often and this “Falling Upward” understanding, and attitude helps.
Life will not always go as you plan. There will be many falls for you. How will you look on these falls? Can you look on them as opportunities to learn and evolve, even when those around you do not have the same perspective? If you can do this, if you can fall upwards in a crowd, then this is a wonderful investment in sharpening your attitude and your future.
8. Be Comfortable with Contradictions
Life can be confusing sometimes. Life can seem contradictory. Just take a look at some of the suggested practices from this handbook:
- Be action oriented yet reflective
- Make the best use of your time but take lots of breaks
- Invest in yourself but be helpful to others
- Have a successful career but spend more time with your friends and family
- Be successful but learn to fall
- Be intentional on a path but be open to new possibilities
- Be very respectful to people but do not let them off the hook if they do not deliver on expectations.
Life is not black or white. It is the many shades of grey, made up by black and white. I hasten to add that life is also very colorful! The solutions to challenges are not always clear-cut but they are understandable if you think them through. Understand and learn to be comfortable with the contradictions. Make your decisions on where to balance out the contradiction for you. With this level of comfort, you will have a sharper attitude that will stand to you.
9. Be Ambitious for Your Life
Live your life to the full. Be ambitious for your life. Remember, as life is short, it is better to be happy, healthy, and helpful to others, so you can lead your life to the full. Make this an element of your attitude to life.
I love the attitude to life expressed in this quote: “I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” – George Bernard Shaw (1856 to 1950), Irish writer.
Live your life on purpose. Live intentionally. Be the best that you can be. You cannot control everything, and it is unwise to try. But this is no excuse to drift. Decide what you want from life and what you are prepared to give to fulfill these intentions. You do not have to plan your whole life but do at least think through the next few months and years. What you want from life will change as you journey through life, so you need to be open to new possibilities while remaining intentional in the meantime. If you make the commitment to live intentionally, while remaining open to other possibilities, you will have a sharper attitude to life.
In order to be open to other possibilities, you need to be aware. You need to be present. This is a very important aspect of personal leadership, being self-aware. The ideas and chapters in this section of the book (e.g., reflection and gratitude practices) will definitely help you on this path to greater self-awareness.
Learning and Other Elements of Attitude
Are there more than nine elements of a healthy attitude? Of course, there are. I had to restrict myself from writing a list with nineteen elements. However, these nine will get you well started. If you work on some of these nine, you will definitely have a sharper attitude to life. In addition, hopefully these will trigger your curiosity to search for more elements to provision you for your journey. It is important to remember that we only know what we know! It is vital to feed your brain with new information, ideas, and thoughts. Seek inspiration from outside as well as inside. Keep learning and you will be sharpening your attitude to life.
We like and often find patterns helpful. GROW is one such pattern that comes to mind, when I think of ‘sharpening attitude’. To help sharpen or GROW your attitude you can find it very helpful to:
- Set Goals: make some decisions about what you want. Give yourself some specific and relevant motivation.
- REP: take the time to REP (Research, Exercise, Post- mortem) whatever area it is that you feel is necessary for you to REP at this stage of your journey.
- Organize yourself: you can fit more in to life as you get better organized. Work Time Management in your favor.
- Work hard: there are no short cuts, I am sorry to say! Hard work is necessary, and it pays handsome dividends.
Human Values
When we moved into our new house, a family friend gave us a poem that I had not seen before, which is now framed on the wall of our home. I have since learned that the poem titled, “Children Learn What They Live”, was first published in 1954 by Dorothy Law Nolte. You may well have seen the poem. It starts with the line, “If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn”. If you have not yet seen this poem, I recommend you search for it.
I have heard people say that the world would be a better place if adults were more like children. It dawned on me that it would be interesting to reflect on this poem as an adult, as a check on our way of living and as a check against the attitudes and practices we have. With this in mind, here is the poem with the “children” replaced by “I”, and with “live” replaced with “practice”. With sincere appreciation to Dorothy Law Nolte.
If I practice criticism, I learn to condemn.
If I practice hostility, I learn to fight.
If I practice fear, I learn to be apprehensive.
If I practice pity, I learn to feel sorry for myself. If I practice ridicule, I learn to feel shy.
If I practice jealousy, I learn to feel envy. If I practice shame, I learn to feel guilty.
If I practice encouragement, I learn confidence. If I practice tolerance, I learn patience.
If I practice praise, I learn appreciation.
If I practice acceptance, I learn to love.
If I practice approval, I learn to like myself.
If I practice recognition, I learn it is good to have a goal. If I practice sharing, I learn generosity.
If I practice honesty, I learn truthfulness.
If I practice fairness, I learn justice.
If I practice kindness and consideration, I learn respect.
If I practice security, I learn to have faith in myself and in those about me.
If I practice friendliness, I learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Summary of Sharpen Your Attitude to Life
Attitude is everything. The ideas and practices above will help you live life with a sharper attitude. Take responsibility to lead your own life to a place that you are happy with life. Be self-led. Remember, “You can do anything you want to do in life, you just have to want to do it”.
I will leave the last words of this chapter to Abraham Maslow (American psychologist, 1908 to 1970) of the “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs” fame: “If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.”
Questions for an “Attitude” REP
Where do you now stand on the idea that you can sharpen your attitude, and that it will not sharpen by accident?
Start: Select one or two of the “Nine Elements of Attitude” to REP when you are ready or feel the need to work this area, perhaps starting with “Find your Motivation”.
Evolve: Schedule time to REP some of the other elements.
Know Your Personality (Two Great Mirrors)
Introduction
“I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.” – Mahatma Gandhi
The first five words of this book are “Lead from the Inside Out”. It is of course hard to lead from the inside if you do not know the inside. Trying to lead yourself and others without being self-aware is like finding your way out of a large, strange location in the dark. It is possible, but it is quite difficult, and success is not at all guaranteed.
This chapter is intended to help you reflect and focus on how your personality influences your style and approach to life and work, and how to work this! This chapter on personality is intended to help you in both your professional and personal life.
Motivation: Why Focus on Your Personality?
You have a personality and there is no getting away from it! Who you are and how you are naturally wired affects how you live, love, lead and manage. Your personality, therefore, influences your happiness and success rate in and out of work, sometimes for good and sometimes not. At a very minimum, personality influences your communication style. Your family, friends and team can definitely see your personality. Shouldn’t you also be able to?!
The Essence
To fully see yourself in the physical form, you need to use a number of mirrors, each placed at different angles: front, back, side, above, below, etc. So, it is with personality. You need different models or mirrors to get to know the real you. However, one good mirror will give you a great start – an incisive first view. You will be amazed what you can see! Even though it is definitely not the “full you”, it will be helpful. It will illuminate.
There are a number of different personality models or mirrors you can readily get information on and learn about. I have experience of two in some detail, both of which I like, respect, find very helpful and, most importantly, I trust. I will give a pretty good introduction and explanation of the Enneagram and a very brief introduction to the Myers Briggs Personality Indicator, or MBTI as it is also called. I have covered the Enneagram in some detail as it shed light on aspects of my own personality that I was not as in touch with. This kind of light was and continues to be a real gift.
I know that many people are dubious and skeptical of personality models. If you are in this camp, have a read and hopefully you will get some value from this chapter. I am not for a minute suggesting that you let any personality model run your life, but these models can give great insights to help you make more informed decisions.
Time Out
How would you describe your personality? In your experience, how does or should personality affect or shape your style of Personal and Collaborative Leadership?
Enneagram – A Number
Ennea is the Greek for nine and gramma is a sign. The Enneagram charts nine personality types, as depicted here.
Enneagram – More than a Number
I can hear you say already: there are more than seven billion people in the world and only nine personality types, no way! And if the nine types were very rigid, then you would of course be right. It is important to stress that which we all know: no two people in the world are exactly the same, yet there are recurring patterns. In Enneagram terms, you are a number (more often called a type), but you are also far more than a number. Each Enneagram type has a rich and deep description. You are typically travelling and living on a spectrum of unhealthy to healthy with your type.
Enneagram – Centers, Wings and Arrows
As you dig deeper into the Enneagram, you will discover that you come from a center and you have wings and arrows into other Enneagram types. For example, I belong to the ‘Heart’ or feeling center (two, three and four) and not the ‘Head’ or thinking center (five, six and seven) and not the ‘Gut’ or instinctive center (eight, nine, one). I am a three, influenced by a strong two wing and am influenced to a lesser but real extent by a weak four wing.
When I am acting healthily, I tend to act out the more attractive aspects of the six, but when I am very tired, I can move to the less redeeming aspects of the nine. I would not expect you to understand in detail what this means just yet, but hopefully this gives you a sense of the richness of the Enneagram.
In summary, as you research and learn more about the Enneagram, you will discover, enjoy, and benefit from a deeper model than is evident on first glance with a single number. Stick with it! The Enneagram is rich with many layers and dimensions.
The Enneagram Decomposed
This chapter will introduce and explain each of the nine types in the following pages. I will speak in the first person, so you can try each of the explanations on for size. I will outline each Enneagram personality type in four short sections: profile, strengths, traps, and a leadership perspective.
In the sections below, I talk about healthy and unhealthy behaviors. When a person is acting from a healthy place, the strengths are deployed. When a person is acting from a less healthy place, we are falling into the traps typical of our personality type.
I am a great believer in the idea that we have traps more so than weaknesses. You can see how a confident person (which is a great strength of ego) could talk about themselves too much and put people off (an overuse of ego). The very strength becomes a trap. I often see us fall into repeatable traps when we overuse a strength.
It is not much fun to read about and admit the traps. It can and, to an extent should, be very humbling. It is, however, very fruitful to really understand these traps that we tend to fall into so we can avoid them or get out of them quicker. The truth about yourself can set you free.
Type 1 – Perfectionist / Reformer
- Profile: I do it the right way. I like to improve myself and everyone else to make the world better, to make the world right, even if sometimes others do not want this!
- Strengths: I set very high standards. I am typically compliant with rules. I dot all the “i”s and cross all the “t’’s. You can trust me to deliver on my promise.
- Traps: I am not that flexible. I can become anxious about stuff that is not going right. I tend to be critical and resentful of others who do not meet my standards. I find that work can become life, and relaxation is missed, unless I am very careful.
- Leadership Perspective: I am a very diligent leader who strives for the highest quality possible.
Type 2 – Helper / Giver
- Profile: I am motivated to help others. I love being needed and liked, even if I do not admit this to others.
- Strengths: I am very generous and caring. I am typically optimistic. I am very attuned to the feelings of others. I build great relationships and I enjoy this.
- Traps: I am not very good at looking out for my own needs. I can get angry and badly let down when I feel unappreciated, and this will be very evident to all as I wear my feelings on my sleeve. I can be too accommodating, and I find it hard to say “No.” I can be manipulative if I am acting as the unhealthy me.
- Leadership Perspective: I am the servant leader. I enjoy being of service to others.
Type 3 – Achiever / Motivator
- Profile: I want to be successful and productive. I am not fond of failure. For me, this is the “f” word!
- Strengths: I am very goal driven. I am efficient and energetic. I am a particularly hard worker, and I am highly productive. I am a pragmatic problem solver and get stuff done.
- Traps: I am not tolerant or appreciative of others who are not achieving. When I am unhealthy, I can act from a place of vanity and ego. I am not always mindful of the feelings of others. I have no “off” switch. I can act more like a “human doer” than a “human being”.
- Leadership Perspective: I have a relentless drive for success to deliver or exceed the goals.
Type 4 – Romantic / Individualist
- Profile: I want to be connected to my feelings and be understood. I definitely do not want to be ordinary.
- Strengths: I am creative and artistic. I am very expressive. I can be inspiring and supportive. I strive for excellence.
- Traps: I can swing very high and very low and can be moody and self- absorbed or have high energy. I am not always great at taking feedback. I can definitely be stubborn at times. I get bored easily and want to move on to the next, more interesting project quickly.
- Leadership Perspective: I strive to lead, so that we all experience real meaning and our true purpose.
Type 5 – Observer / Investigator
- Profile: I want to know and understand so I can be independent and, of course, not look foolish.
- Strengths: I have an admirable thirst for knowledge. I am analytical and a good problem solver. I am able to compartmentalize. I am perceptive and systematic.
- Traps: I can appear distant, as if I enjoy my own company. I can come across as negative and when I am acting from an unhealthy place, please do not ask me to repeat myself! I can undervalue relationships. I am not assertive enough.
- Leadership Perspective: I and we need to research, think, and know everything, and then we will be more effective on our projects.
Type 6 – Questioner / Loyalist
- Profile: I enjoy security, so I tend to fear and prepare for the worst. I am very loyal but do not cross me!
- Strengths: I am very responsible and reliable. I am funny and fun to be with. I am practical and a great team player. I am very collaborative, loyal, and dutiful to my team, to authority and to my company.
- Traps: I can be paranoid, and this is exhausting for me. I tend to be controlling and rigid. I am often highly judgemental of others. I can also be indecisive, overly analytical and risk averse.
- Leadership Perspective: I like to make sure all the team feel involved, where we can overcome all the obstacles that I see.
Type 7 – Adventurer / Enthusiast
- Profile: I like to be happy, do fun stuff and to do good. I am not much into suffering through, and I want to keep all my options open!
- Strengths: I am fast. I am a quick thinker, and I am great in a crisis. I have lots of enthusiasm and exude optimism. I am very productive and I naturally multi-task. I am courageous and not afraid to take risks.
- Traps: I can be impulsive. I am not that disciplined. I may not finish what I start. I can be very restless, and I like to move on. I can be easily distracted, and I am not fond of routine. I am not always focused.
- Leadership Perspective: Let me help the team find new and exciting stuff so we will take advantage of this and we do not miss these opportunities.
Type 8 – Challenger / Boss
- Profile: I like to be strong, and I want to appear so, even if I am not. Please fight back or I will not respect you.
- Strengths: I am very confident. I have high energy. I am extremely direct. I am very loyal to the cause, especially if it is a just cause.
- Traps: I can be controlling. I like it to be my way or the highway. I am often domineering, and this can be intimidating for others around me. I tend to be self-centred and sometimes aggressive.
- Leadership Perspective: I am a decisive, take-charge leader who likes strong people in the key roles. Just follow me, have no worries, and we will be fine.
Type 9 – Peacemaker / Mediator
- Profile: Generally, I like peace and harmony and I like to go with the flow. I definitely avoid conflict.
- Strengths: I am open minded, accepting, empathetic, and non-judgemental. I am well able to relax and have a good time. I am extremely patient. I am a great relationship builder.
- Traps: I can be indecisive and not assertive enough. When unhealthy, I am apathetic and then nothing happens. I can be forgetful. I am good at procrastination – in fact, very good!
- Leadership Perspective: If we all get on really well and are nice to each other, the work will be accomplished so much quicker.
Which Enneagram Type Are You?
What Enneagram type do you think you are? Only you can tell, and it is likely that you do not have enough detail in the preceding pages to know. But hopefully you are intrigued! You are very likely finding yourself in many of the types. To help you a little bit on this quest, your type goes to the root cause of why you do what you do. I might appear extremely helpful to others and perhaps this is because I am a ‘two’ (the helper/giver). Or, maybe it is because I am being paid to be helpful and I want to be successful, so I am acting more of a ‘three’ (the achiever/motivator). I might spend hours cutting the trees in my front yard to a perfect height because I am a ‘one’ (the perfectionist/reformer). But perhaps I do this because today it appeals to my artistic side (the romantic/individualist) as a ‘four’. The books referenced towards the end of this chapter contain self- tests to guide you on this quest for your type.
Words of warning: please do not assume you know what Enneagram type someone else is and please do not judge someone even if you do.
The Best Enneagram Type?
Is there a best Enneagram type? Absolutely not. The real value of the Enneagram is to know yourself, to be more self-aware, and as a result, act out of a healthier and happier place. As my daughter reminds me from time to time, “Éamonn, we are here for a good time, not a long time.” Life is very short, and self-awareness is one of the tools that will help you make the most of your life.
The Best Enneagram Type for Leadership?
Let us review the leadership perspectives from the nine types and see if we identify the best type for the role of team/project leader.
- I am a very diligent leader who strives for the highest quality possible.
- I am the servant leader. I enjoy being in service of others.
- I have a relentless drive for success to deliver or exceed the goals.
- I strive to lead, so that we all experience real meaning and our true purpose.
- I and we need to research, think, and know everything and then we will be more effective at work.
- I like to make sure the team all feel involved, where we can overcome all the obstacles that I see.
- Let me help the team find new and exciting stuff, so we will take advantage of this and we do not miss out on these opportunities.
- I am a decisive, take-charge leader who likes strong people in the key roles. Just follow me, have no worries and we will be fine.
- If we all get on really well and are nice to each other, the work will be delivered so much quicker.
Can you spot the perfect leader? I am thinking not. I assume you can see positive leadership and management qualities in each of the nine types. In many ways, the ideal leader is able to deploy as needed any of these fine qualities on any collaborative endeavor.
You will find that some types (e.g., one, two, three, and eight) more often end up in leadership or management positions. However, when any of these types are acting from the unhealthy place of their personality type, the team will likely be very challenged.
It is rare enough that personality type is checked before appointment to leadership, so you will find all nine types in leadership and in management positions. The key is to know your strengths and traps, and match them to the context of the specific situation, team, or project. For example, as a type one you strive for perfection. How much perfection is needed on this project? As a type two, you will want to help everyone.
Do you have time to help everyone on this project? As a type six, you can be indecisive. Is this hurting the project? And so on.
Enneagram – A Brief History
Some readers will wonder where this all came from and for you, this is an extremely short history as I understand it (mostly summarised from the book by Richard Rohr referenced in the next section of this chapter).
Some Enneagram researchers have made links to Pythagoras, the Greek mathematician and philosopher, from the 5th Century BC. There are early references to eight forms of temptation in the 4th Century AD in Egypt, developed by the Desert Fathers. Incidentally, the early Christian Church labeled this as heresy.
Another development appears in the early 14th Century in Spain when Ramón Lull, a lay or tertiary Franciscan, was drawn to Sufism. At this point, we got a 9-point diagram of human characteristics of vices and virtues.
Fast forward to the early 1900s when George Ivanovitch Gudjieff, an Armenian spiritualist, did more work on the model, describing features covering our true essence. In the early 1960s, Oscar Ichazo, a Bolivian spiritual teacher, developed personality descriptors. In the 1970s, Claudio Naranjo, a Chilean-born psychiatrist, adopted the Enneagram in California. Jesuits in the US (including Fr. Robert Ochs SJ) worked on the model with Naranjo, adopting the Enneagram for retreat work and spiritual guidance.
As you can see, the model has a rich history over the centuries and has been developed by people of many different faiths and none. The Enneagram crossed the divide in the US from the spiritual to the business world and is now used by many corporations around the world as a leadership development tool focusing on that critical aspect of leadership, self-awareness.
I should add that I am no historian and the above is an indication of the deep and varied roots of the Enneagram rather than an exact history. If you are interested in the history of the Enneagram, maybe you can use this as a starting point to search for the more detailed story.
In 1985, I was going on a vacation to Berkley, CA and my uncle Donal was driving me to the airport. On that two-hour journey, he introduced me to the Enneagram. I walked the streets of Berkley in September 1985 and eventually found a store called “Shamballa” where I bought my first book on the Enneagram. I was hooked!
Here was a model that knew me better than I knew myself. The Enneagram is a mirror that I have returned to over the years, and it has always been a great teacher for me.
Enneagram Books
There are many sources of reliable information on the Enneagram. I have bought, read, loaned, and lost many books over the years but here is a list of some the Enneagram books currently on my shelf.
- “The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People”, by Renee Baron and Elizabeth Wagele
- “Discovering Your Personality Type: The Essential Introduction to the Enneagram”, Revised and Expanded by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson
- “What Type of Leader Are You? Using the Enneagram System to Identify and Grow Your Leadership Strengths and Achieve Maximum Success”, by Ginger Lapid-Bogda
- “Bringing Out the Best in Everyone You Coach: Use the Enneagram System for Exceptional Results”, by Ginger Lapid-Bogda
- “The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective”, by Richard Rohr.
I am happy to recommend all of the above, but if you are new to the Enneagram, I would start with the first one on the list. It is a fun, easy introduction, and the one I give to my family, co-workers, and friends as a starter.
The Myers Briggs Personality Types
I have explained above that the Enneagram is a very helpful mirror, one of many such mirrors. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is another such instrument that I find extremely insightful and helpful. The MBTI was developed by mother and daughter, Katharine Briggs, and Isabel Myers, in the 1940s and 50s, extending Carl Jung’s theory of psychological type from the 1920s.
Carl Jung gave us Extrovert or Introvert, Sensing or iNtuition and Thinking or Feeling (see below for a brief explanation of these). The Myers Briggs extends Jung’s work by developing the MBTI instrument to help us see patterns in how we prefer to use our perception and judgement. Perception is how we come to knowledge, whereas judgement is how we come to conclusions. Since we all differ in how we perceive and judge, then we differ in how we relate to the world around us. The MBTI mirror or instrument views through four lenses as follows.
- Extrovert or Introvert: Do you relate more to the external or internal world?
- Sensing or iNtuition: How do you prefer to take in or perceive information?
- Thinking or Feeling: How do you prefer to make conclusions and decisions?
- Judging or Perceiving: Do you seek organization and closure or are you open and spontaneous?
With two possibilities for each of the four preferences, this gives us sixteen MBTI types. For example, an INTP person prefers Introversion, iNtuition, Thinking and Perceiving. The MBTI theory believes that we are born with a natural pre-disposition to four of the eight traits. We develop these preferred traits in early life, and this gives us a particular personality. In later life and with knowledge, we can also develop and strengthen the weaker traits to be more balanced as needed. For example, an extrovert like myself will deliberately schedule and seek more alone, reflective time to develop and leverage my less dominant introverted side.
As with the Enneagram, there is no right or wrong MBTI type, there is no better or worse type. There is, however, knowledge and understanding. Reliable and trustworthy instruments like Myers Briggs can help you understand the terrain with a good map so you can navigate work and life more successfully. I, for, example am an ESTJ, and this helps me know my preferences and when to deploy them and when not. And of course, this helps me work my traps.
Again, the same uncle who introduced me to the Enneagram in 1985 introduced me to Myers Briggs. I am forever grateful to him for this and so much more.
As with the friendly warning issued above with the Enneagram, please do not assume you know what MBTI type someone else is and please do not judge someone even if you do. I feel confident to share my MBTI and Enneagram type, because even if others judge me armed with this information, they still cannot really know where each of my actions is coming from. Heck, sometimes I do not even know myself! I meet people who have insights into these models, and they judge and label people, and this is very regrettable.
I am very conscious that I have given far less detail with Myers Briggs than I did with the Enneagram, and maybe in a later edition of this handbook I will redress this, but in the interim you can find more information on this wonderful model on the website of the Myers & Briggs Foundation http://www.myersbriggs.org/.
Summary of Know your Personality
To be an effective leader of others, you need to first know yourself and be self-aware. This chapter has made much of the Enneagram, as this is the model that I encountered that helped me the most.
However, the real point of the chapter is not the Enneagram, rather it is personality models and their utility. To be self-aware you can invest in strong mirrors like the Enneagram, Myers Briggs, or other models you encounter, and you will get significant benefit. I hope you make space in your schedule from time to time, to learn and benefit from such models. I hope you get to know yourself better, so you can indeed lead from the inside out.
Let me conclude this chapter with a very insightful quote from Isabel Briggs Myers: “When people differ, a knowledge of type lessens friction and eases strain. In addition, it reveals the value of differences. No one has to be good at everything.”
Questions for an “Attitude” REP
Where do you now stand on the link between Personality types and successful Personal and Collaborative Leadership?
Start: When you are ready or feel the need to REP this area, do some research and select a personality model to work with (or just start with the Enneagram). Get to know yourself more deeply and make decisions on what to make use of (e.g., your strengths) and where to make adjustments (e.g., your traps).
Evolve: Rinse, lather, and repeat with the first model you selected! Later explore and move to a new model (e.g., MBTI). When you are ready, bring these models to your friends and to your team at work.
Manage Your Time (A Five Step Approach)
Introduction
Time is a finite resource that we all wish we could top up every now and then! Juggling multiple, and sometimes competing, professional and personal commitments makes effective time management seem almost impossible. However, it is important to take control and manage your time, so that you can live and lead your life with intention.
Motivation: Why Manage Your Time?
When I think of effective time management, I am reminded of the last two lines of Mary Oliver’s wonderful poem, “The Summer Day”:
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Two thoughts about this quote:
- for me, it sums up a key motivation for this time management chapter really well
- when you get some quiet time, you might reflect personally on this profound question.
The Essence
This chapter advocates a simple and systematic 5-step approach to time management as follows:
- Step 1: Set your goals both personal and professional.
- Step 2: Create a generic schedule for how you want the typical week to progress.
- Step 3: Take time out every week to plan the coming week ahead of you so the work happens on purpose and not by accident.
- Step 4: Work your week as you planned and make use of the 3 D’s (Decide-Delegate-Defer) when handling and managing the inevitable distractions.
- Step 5: Take time out to do a periodic review a few times a year to reflect, recalibrate and reset.
Time Out
As we start into this chapter here are a few questions for you to consider:
- How effective is your time management?
- What is good about it?
- What is not so good?
- What do you think is missing?
Step 1: Set Goals and Action Plans
A goal is something you aim for that will have value to you once achieved or maybe partially achieved. A goal will lead you to a desired outcome that you call out and reach for. Goals can be personal or professional or a mix of both. A goal typically requires some degree of effort from you and maybe others helping along the way. Goals typically have deadlines, and this helps with prioritization. Goals need to be somehow attainable, even if you are not sure how. You also need to know how to judge when the goals is reached. Other names for goal, include objective and target. When you set a goal, it helps chart a course for you to follow. It gives you direction.
“If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca (Roman Philosopher, Statesman and Satirist: about 4 BC to AD 65)
In Step 1 of this five-step approach, you set your goals and draw up any action plans needed. This first step is divided into two sub-steps, as simple as A and B!
- Step 1A: Devise your personal and professional goals and commit them to paper
- Step 1B: Devise any necessary action plans.
Step 1A: Devise Your Goals
Step 1A in this simple approach is to devise your goals. Now I know that this is easier said than done, so you are going to need to take some time to do this. If you do not devise your goals right now, you can do so on another pass through this handbook. The goals can be personal, professional, work related, anything you desire. The goals can be near, medium, or long term. It does not matter as long as these are the goals that are important to you.
What would you say are the goals for the life you are currently leading? Moreover, more importantly – what are the goals for the life you wish to lead? Big questions, I know!
The question then becomes – how do you achieve these goals? The first suggestion is to verbalize your goals. In other words, share your goals, or some of them, with somebody, and go public to some degree with them. If you do this, I believe you are also more likely to achieve whatever goals it is you want to achieve. Maybe it is an ego thing! If the people you tell care for you, they will ask every now and again how these goals are progressing. They hold you accountable without really knowing it!
I have found also that it is important to write down my goals. The very act of first dreaming about and thinking out my goals and then committing them to paper has always helped me increase the likelihood of attaining my goals.
The ideal output of Step 1 is a written goal sheet. This sheet will have goals that are important to you, and these will be different to those of your friend, your neighbor, your brother, your sister. These are your goals. Of course, the goals will evolve, so do not be in any way nervous about your initial decisions and remember that it is important to start somewhere.
On the image above, you will see a suggested list of categories, but if they are not all helpful, ignore them. This sample should give you a sense of the variety of goals that you may have on your sheet.
I started doing this formally back in 1990 on a file-o-fax, where there was a section in the back for goals. I am still doing it today and I believe that I will be doing it for a long time to come! Today I have six main life goals – a mixture of personal and professional. These days I use Microsoft OneNote to capture my goals and the changes to them. In the extract below from my personal OneNote folder (showing the dates of the main revisions), you see my recent goal sheets started in 2005.
You can also see from the next extract below that in 2017, I made many revisions to my goal sheet. There was an amazing amount of stuff happening, a lot of change, mostly good with a lot of new opportunity, so my goals needed revision. Second, formally putting these Time Management materials together for the next edition of this handbook required me to really think through my goals yet again! I sharpened my own personal approach to goal management because of this sharing. A happy accident.
In summary, Step 1A – have a goal sheet.
Write your goals down in a place where you can easily access them so you can live by them, and as time goes on, revise them. This is arguably the most important and maybe the least implemented step in time management – actually deciding how you want to spend your time. If you have the time right now, I suggest you devise and write down your goals. What do you wish to do with your precious time?
A Perspective on Goals
Bill, a very dear friend, and mentor of mine, read the first edition of the handbook and gave the following feedback that I thought was well worth including.
“Long (or even medium) term goals have never been much of a factor in my own success. Three things that I now regularly share as planning and mentoring advice are:
- First, work very hard to accomplish something significant and important to you every month, and thus be able to describe at least ten meaningful things you achieved at the end of the year. Failing two months out of twelve is no big deal.
- Second,alwaysremembertheParetoprinciple,sometimesreferredtoasthe 80-20 rule. In every situation, there are really only a few factors or items that really matter and those are what you need to identify and spend your time on.
- And third, what separates the really high achievers from the pack is deep personal drive and responsibility – forcing yourself to go the extra mile even when you may be worn out, stressed, angry, etc.
Lastly, in my own experience, the single most important factor influencing project success is project size. Most organizations err in making the project too big and tackling too much at once; addressing this challenge is something you may want to focus on. The key is to pick a couple of important items (the Pareto principle at work again) and then break them down into pieces, so you can get something meaningful done in a duration of just a month or two.”
Step 1B: Devise Action Plans
There are three ways to think about your goals. Some goals are so simple that it is obvious that you have to do once you write them down, and in these cases the goals do not require an action plan.
Some goals are more involved but if they are part of a business plan or a project plan, this action planning should already be done! The middle ground is where you have goals that you have set which do require an action plan. With an action plan, you know what is to happen and when it has to happen. The path to the success of your goal is more certain. It is therefore advisable that in the same place as you have written your goals, you write any necessary action plans that do not exist elsewhere.
Plans are just that – plans! Life rarely goes to plan as we know, but it is important to have a plan to chart a course. Later steps in this five-step approach to time management will suggest you revisit and revise these action plans as needed.
Step 2: Create a Generic Schedule for Your Working Week
Step 2 suggests you create a generic schedule for your typical working week. This step also has two elements:
- Step 2A: Create a Generic Schedule
- Step 2B: Create a Plan Week Approach
Step 2A: Create a Generic Schedule
Step 2A suggests that you create a generic or typical schedule for your working week. All of this generic schedule will not apply to every week, e.g., during a vacation week you will want to do something radically different. You also know if you are on a training course or attending a conference or out for company meetings that only some of this generic schedule will apply.
For the typical week, what is your generic schedule? You start creating your generic schedule by going back to look at your goals (devised in Step 1). As you look at all your goals, you realize that they cannot happen by accident. You have to allocate time to achieve these goals.
What you need to do is block out specific times for the achievement of specific goals. Perhaps use different colors for the different goal/time blocks. In my case, green time on my calendar represents personal goal time; a nice shade of red represents time slots for Customer Success goals, and so on. Think back to when you were in school and you had a timetable set for you! Here you are developing the equivalent for your more mature life. I use Microsoft Outlook to create recurring blocks for major goals similar to the way you might have a recurring appointment in your calendar for a regular team meeting.
Look at the entire week from when you wake until you sleep, and decide how much you want to allocate to the achievement of your goals, mindful of the fact that you are never going to be able to stick to this exactly, so do not worry about getting it wrong. I will come back to this point later.
If relaxation, downtime, and having fun is a goal, then you will naturally allocate time to these critical activities as part of this step, but if these are not formal goals, do leave white space for same.
Of course, in a work and project management context, you are going to have project and team meetings, so you need to overlay your work and project commitments on to this generic calendar.
By using this approach, you are saying, “I live my life one week at a time, one day at a time, and one time block at a time”. You are devising how you are going to use the typical week to achieve your specific goals and live the life that you desire, the life you deserve.
Example: Microsoft Outlook
Here is an example of a schedule derived from my own calendar. There are some personal goal-times and some work goals here with specific times set aside for items like e-mail and to-do lists, all of which are important, but you do not want them to take over your schedule. We talk about this in the next chapter on “Manage Your Time – Eighteen Traps and Tips”. You can see that certain goals translate into designated spaces on the calendar. You can also see white space. As you start a week with white space, identify which goals slot into this available time.
You can also see that I have time set aside every week to REP – actually the very first part of my week. As it happens, I still love my job and am happy going to work each day, but knowing that my first session on a Monday morning is REP (where I invest in my professional and personal development) makes it even easier. This sample extract only shows Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. If you could see Sunday, you would see an early morning time slot where I have extra time set aside to enjoy a REP for my personal development.
Your personal and professional development is important on so many fronts, but it will not happen by accident. Set regular time aside each week and make it happen. Do not short change yourself. Make the most of your time by striving to achieve your goals, by allocating the time. Make the time investment.
In all of this, you are striving to map your key goals to the available time whilst also trying to create routine. You are certainly not trying to be boring. However, there is a sense with routine that is empowering, that is enabling, that makes it easier for you to just focus on what you are meant to do at that point in time and to produce higher quality work that you are more satisfied with. A schedule like this can really help you live in the moment and enjoy the present, while knowing that your future is planned.
Work Life Balance
This simple but systematic five step approach to time management encourages you to decide on how much time you give to each major area of your life, and as such helps you be intentional about how you use your time. How many hours per week will you give to work, career, family, friends, hobbies, etc.? Simple but very important questions are asked and answered in how you approach this thought process.
It is important to have a work life balance. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”, is very true. I do however have an issue with how some people characterize the work life divide. They often characterize ‘work’ as drudge, less worthy of our time than ‘life’ and something to be minimized in this ‘balance’. Work should be enjoyable, challenging, fulfilling, and rewarding. Work should be a social outlet where companionship and support is found. Surely, this type of work is also life! In the prior chapter on ‘Manage Your Energy’ we talked about Career and Work Choices.
How you approach this question will determine how much time you give to work each week. These days, because of my current goals, I willingly give 60+ hours to ‘work’ each week at this juncture of my life. I will add that careful attention to Time Management and the other practices in this handbook help me be happy with what is achieved inside and outside of these 60+ hours. I know some people will think this is insane, but the key to remember, is that this is my conscious choice for now.
In addition to the above, I often hear people use the work life balance discussion as an excuse to do less work. There are times when you will have ambitious goals that you want to achieve, and you need to give this part of your life more time. There are times when you family and friends really need you and you need to give this part of your life more time. Do not worry if you get out of balance from time to time. This is feedback that you have may just have found your current limits. And how are you going to know your limits unless you cross them.
You will benefit from deciding the typical or generic balance that you give to each major area of your life. This is a personal decision you make and will revise from time to time.
Step 2B: Create a Plan Week Approach
In Step 2A, we suggested creating a generic schedule for your typical week. In Step 2B, we recommend you devise a simple process to actually plan your week. Now why would you do something like this?! Well, if you think about it, a week is an amazing amount of time. Each week is a new gift. There is a huge amount of time in a week if you just approach it the right way.
Example: Plan Week Approach
Here, you can see a simple process that will give you some sense of what you might do in the time slot called, ‘Plan Week.’ This example extracted from my personal approach and it has five simple steps as depicted in the next image. These repeatable steps prompt me to make the best use of the week ahead.
In the first step, I look at my personal and professional goals to see which of my goals need progress this week and where can I fit them in. Sometimes the time is already allocated on my generic schedule, so it is a case of re-affirming my commitment to this slot and often deciding exactly what I will do with this time. Other times, I will need to use the available white space to allocate to these goals. Looking at these goals once a week like this, I now re- assess how I am doing, and I commit to doing the same or better this coming week. We need to be happy with our personal goal achievement and this weekly check is important and helpful in this regard.
Second of my steps is to look at any pre-ordained meetings in the coming week. Typically, I will have many meetings in an average week, and I have a passionate dislike for meetings that are a waste of time, as I am sure you do too. This means I have to prepare for these meetings. I look at the scheduled meetings and decide if I need to do prep. If so, I will allocate the preparation time, usually just before the meeting if I can. If it is not possible to prepare properly, I will try to reschedule the meeting to save wasting everybody else’s time and mine. For some recurring meetings I have prep time scheduled on my generic calendar.
Third step is I, like you, am involved in many projects. I will look at these specific plans and see what items need to happen this week to keep that business or these projects on track. Typically, I will allocate these items to whatever white space I can find.
At certain times of the year, I will have a fourth step in my weekly schedule planning. This will entail setting time aside to work on business planning or other business or major project reviews.
My fifth, and final, step in the typical week is to look at my to-do list, my task list, my overflow. You will see in the approach we are going to recommend in the next chapter that you do not action every item when it comes up; instead, you will put some of these items on a to-do list. However, these to-do’s will not get done by accident! In this fifth step, I look at my tasks list, which is important, but typically not as important as the other goals and projects in Steps 1, 2, 3 of this weekly planning template. I will allocate time to the bigger tasks that need to get done this week.
The steps described above are my generic planning process for the specific week that I have in front of me. Your planning steps will likely differ, but hopefully the above will give you some ideas.
Step 3: Develop the Specific Schedule (for this week)
In Step 3, develop a specific schedule for the week you now have in front of you. If you think of the prior steps 1 and 2, they can be summarized as follows:
- Step 1 is devising your goals (and you do this every now and again – not every day!).
- Step 2 is developing the generic template for how you are going to organize your time.
I treat each new week as a fresh start, and I also see a week as a large chunk of time. Step 3 advocates that as each new week starts, you take time to have that meeting with yourself to decide how you are going to spend this coming week.
When do you do this? I will typically do this on Monday just before lunch. I used to do this planning on Monday morning very first thing but not anymore. I have found it is best to do the most difficult and important work first thing in the morning instead of emails or time planning like this Step 3.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed with too much work – most often when I forget to say “No” to new opportunities! Maybe you also find that sometimes there is too much going on and you wonder how you are going to get through everything.
Being overwhelmed can often come because you have too much on your plate. We need to remember there are only so many hours in the day and only so many days in the week. By planning your week, you are saying, ‘This is what I am going to get done and this will have to wait’ and, ‘I know when I am going to defer this to’. This approach can relax you so you can enjoy the rest of your day, week, or weekend.
In these times of overwhelm, on a Friday before I leave work or sometimes over the weekend, I will sneak away for an hour or less to plan the week ahead to figure the best way through and thereby clear my head.
The key in Step 3 is that you have a pre-set allocated time for this plan-your-week activity. In fact, if you looked closely at the image above and partially repeated here, you will see that this Microsoft Outlook calendar entry for me that started in 2002.
Back in 2002, I started using Microsoft Outlook to schedule this meeting with myself to plan how I am going to get the most out of my week. This is a simple but helpful practice that has worked well for me and I am happy to recommend it to you.
When planning your week, I would also suggest that you are very realistic. Do not think you can get ten things done if you are only going to get five done. This judgement will come with practice but be realistic from the outset. Also, set enough time aside so whatever you are doing, you can do well and to a standard that you and your colleagues are happy with.
Finally, as you plan your specific weeks, bear in mind that the schedule will not work out exactly as you had planned – it will change – so assume changes. Your schedule will be more realistic, even relaxing, and you will be more successful and happier.
Step 4: Work the Schedule/Plan
Step 4 is where you work the plan and spend the time planned. In the first 3 steps of this approach, you have put time into defining your goals, your generic schedule, and your specific schedule, so whatever you are doing right now is what you have decided you want to do. You should be able to relax and enjoy doing it, because you know that you are going to get to the other priorities later. Ironically, some people think that a schedule is restrictive but planning your week like this is liberating and should actually help you live in the moment and be present in the now.
You are probably now asking the following questions. What about changes? What about distractions? What about interruptions? It is all very well to live in the moment and be relaxed but when I get distracted, when somebody walks up with something different, when I get interrupted, when the plan does not go the way I want, what do I do?
Distraction is a reality and many times, can be a real gift, so we need mechanisms and space to deal with this reality. My mother reminds me that “life is something that happens when you are planning something else!”
The next chapter in this handbook is “Manage Your Time – Eighteen Traps and Tips”. In this next chapter, I talk through eighteen traps that suck away at your time and eighteen tips to deal with them.
In the next section of this chapter, I will give you one helpful technique to get you started.
Managing Distractions
Managing distractions – yikes! I have observed that the people who are very easily distracted and often interrupted are people who do not set goals and do not have their schedules organized. They are not living their life in a purposeful way. That may be a bit harsh and does not take into account some roles that are, by their very nature, prone to interruption, but you can observe yourself and see if this aligns with your experiences. I find that the best defense against being randomized by others is to first get myself organized.
As promised, let me give you one technique to get you started. When a distraction comes that is trying to take you away from what you should be doing right now on your schedule, remember these 3 D’s – “Decide-Delegate-Defer”.
Decide
The first D is making a decision. This should be the first priority. When a distraction arises, you decide if you want to take this distraction or not.
If you decide you want to take it, consider: do I have to do it now, or can I do it later? Ifyou decide to do it now, then go do it and reschedule whatever you are doing when you got distracted. The first order of march is to make a decision. You need to be the person who decides how to spend your time – not someone else.
Now I meet many people, sometimes very busy and accomplished people, and they get overwhelmed. As I mentioned earlier, I get overwhelmed from time to time. It happens to all of us. In fact, in some ways this is a good sign because you are taking on lots of stuff, but we need mechanisms to cope with overwhelm and “Decide” is one simple process to deal with too much work.
Delegate
If you decide to take on the extra work that just arrived, the second D is to ask yourself can or should I delegate it? Now I do not mean dump it on somebody else. That is unfair.
Some people are very good at shifting work to other people who have already too much on their plate. You will also find some personality types cannot say “No” to the extra work, so be careful not to overload these good people.
Be a responsible delegator. Find somebody who can help you out with the extra work and delegate responsibly. Make sure these people are able to do the work and ensure they have the necessary support from you. Effective delegation is an active not a passive process. Think before you delegate.
Defer
The third D is defer. If it is important that you get the extra item done, maybe it does not have to be done right now? If it is important but not urgent, can you defer to another time?
Allocate this extra item to a specific time slot on your calendar or add the item to a to-do/task list. In the meantime, you can get back to whatever you should be doing right now, finish that out, and enjoy doing your current work.
In summary to help with distractions, remember the 3 D’s – Decide, Delegate, Defer. Of course, as you traverse the 3 Ds at any stage you may indeed decide to Do the action (the 4th D!).
Side Note: I view email as very useful and necessary but also as a potential and special type of distraction. As such, the last two chapters in this Section 2 give steps to help manage email well.
Step 5: Periodic Review
If you look back at the process and approach we have worked so far, steps 3 and 4 involve a natural amount of continuous review. These reviews, while important, can tend to be more microscopic rather than macroscopic, if you get my drift. Every now and again it is important to get back to Steps 1 and 2 and ask yourself some hard questions, e.g.,
- The ‘3H’ (happy, healthy, helpful) questions:
- Am I happy? (a reasonable proportion of the time) -Am I healthy?
- Am I helpful to others?
- The ‘life potential’ questions:
- Am I successful with my goals? (whatever success means to you personally)
- Am I living to my full potential?
- Am I the best that I can be for myself and people who are important to me?
Step 5 is about setting time aside to review how you are doing against your personal and professional goals. It is honestly acknowledging that you are not going to give yourself an A+ grade on your goal and time management the first time around. It is just not going to happen! Moreover, life changes anyway, so periodically there are going to be natural adjustments that need to take place.
If you think about it, it takes time to learn how to ride a bike, to swim, to horse-ride, to play golf, to become a marketer, an engineer, etc. Whatever it is that you are good at, it has taken time. Recent wisdom tells us that it can take ten thousand hours of practice to achieve personal mastery in some areas, so you better get started soon with time management!
Therefore, with Step 5 you take some time out and relook at the goals identified in Step 1. Assess your energy levels. Examine how you allocated your generic week in Step 2 and decide if you want to make some adjustments. I aim to do this at least once a year but sometimes I review more than this. This review typically happens around significant dates such as the start of the year or when I get back from summer vacation. Whenever it triggers for you, go with that process, and make the adjustments.
There is another point to make here. What I am really saying to you is be intentional, decide the life you want to lead and do not drift for too much or for too long. While you will want to be spontaneous, I am also suggesting that you have personal and professional goals to guide and live the life that you want. Now, this readjustment should not be stressful. This periodic review should actually be enjoyable because it is like a reboot, a restart, and a chance to go again.
Remember that ‘practice makes perfect’ in all endeavors. It will take time to be good at time management, so how do you expect to get it perfect on your first attempt? You cannot. You should not. This periodic review is your chance to improve your time management, and you need to take advantage of and enjoy this reflection.
Summary of Time Management – a Five Step Approach
This chapter started with the last two lines of a Mary Oliver poem: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Food for thought! A big question really worth answering for yourself, if you did not do so as we started this chapter.
In summary, this chapter recommends the following five steps:
- Step 1: Set your goals both personal and professional.
- Step 2: Create a generic schedule for how you want the typical week to progress.
- Step 3: Take time out every week to plan the week ahead of you, so it happens on purpose and not by accident.
- Step 4: Work your week as you planned and remember the 3 D’s (Decide-Delegate-Defer) when handling and managing the inevitable distractions.
- Step 5: Take time out to do a periodic review once or twice a year to reflect, recalibrate and reset. Moreover, enjoy this step, and get renewed energy from this review.
Questions for a “Time Management” REP
Start: Spend some time working on your goals when you are ready or feel the need to REP this area. (If your goals are sharply in focus, you will naturally begin to make better use of time.)
Evolve: Start working through some of the other suggestions in this approach to help reach your goals and make better use of your time.
Manage Your Time (Eighteen Traps and Tips)
Introduction
There is a wonderful quote from Benjamin Franklin: “Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff that life is made of.”
Feel free to set down this handbook for a few minutes to think about this quote and what it means for you, because in many ways it sums up the motivation for this chapter.
Motivation: Why Eighteen Traps and Tips?
Welcome back if you enjoyed a time-out! This chapter will walk you through traps and tips in these three areas:
- Your goals
- Your schedule
- The inevitable distractions.
The chapter calls out the traps you might fall into and suggests tips to avoid these obstacles. Eighteen traps and tips in all.
The Essence
The main message of this chapter is as follows: if you knew that the road you were driving was full of holes, you would avoid the holes! It is wise to know where the time management traps are and avoid them!
Time Out
As we start this chapter, reflect on the traps and distractions that currently trip you up, that make you feel, ‘Ugh, I did not get as much done today as I should have done.’ What are these traps?
Having written your thoughts, I suggest another question. “How do you think you could avoid these traps? How could you make them less distracting, less distressing?”
Goals: Five Traps and Tips
We are going to start with Goals – no surprises there. Those who read the last chapter (Manage Your Time – a Five Step Approach) will know that I have a strong bias for being very clear on your personal and professional goals.
What I often find is that people who become disappointed or overwhelmed are typically not achieving their goals, stated or unstated, personal, or professional. This may not come to the fore. It may not be what people are thinking consciously, but deeper down this is what is often being felt.
This particular section is going to walk you through five traps and tips to make sure you are on track to achieve your goals because I believe that this will really set you up for fulfilment, contentment, success and happiness.
Goals Trap No. 1: Not Achieving Your Goals
Trap: Do you feel as though you are spending the time and not achieving your goals? This can be very frustrating.
Tip: Have you a written set of goals? If not, consider writing your goals in simple, clear, unambiguous, and achievable terms. If you do have written goals, then go back to them. Relook at them and re-evaluate them. Maybe they are the wrong goals. Alternatively, maybe you just need to refocus on them. (Refer to Step 1 in the “Manage Your Time – a Five Step Approach” chapter if you need more guidance.)
Goals Trap No. 2: Unclear Path to Success
Trap: Are some of your goals a bit fuzzy? Perhaps you have a very clear goal, but you are not quite sure how to achieve it? You know what you want, you know the desired end-state, but you are not yet on a clear path to success. This can also be a huge waste of time and quite frustrating.
Tip: Go back and create a clear, concise set of actions that are time-based detailing how you will achieve each important goal. Do this, and make it no more than a page in length if you can to begin with. Take your time and do this well. Revise it from time to time as needs be.
Goals Trap No. 3: Not Getting to Your Goals
Trap: Do you feel as though you have some very important goals, but you are not getting to them? This trap is quite common, because less important stuff and seemingly more urgent items gets in the way.
Tip: Come in every morning of each workday and give the first two hours to your most important goal. Now if you do not think that is a good idea, try it for a week or ideally for a month. Two hours of every day.
When you come in to work, do not even turn on your computer and if you have to, then do not look at your email. Two hours every day to achieve your most important goal; you will make amazing progress in a few weeks and months. You will be well on the road. I “cheat” a small bit on this one in that I do critical email and time-sensitive tasks from home before I get to work – so that when I arrive at the office my two hours start clean.
Later in this chapter, the focus will turn to distractions, but suffice it to say, that you will need to learn to say “No” or “Not Yet” or “Later” to some incoming requests, in order to keep your focus on your most important goals.
Goals Trap No. 4: Feeling Overwhelmed
Trap: Do you feel overwhelmed? This might be a reward for your success because you are taking on too much, and if so, congratulations!
Tip: It is natural and normal to be overwhelmed from time to time. If you are very overwhelmed, then you may need to schedule some down time. Just get away from it, relax, recharge, and come back refreshed. With this new energy, you can then re-organize and regain control. Even a short getaway will make a difference.
Goals Trap No. 5: Stressed
Trap: Are you stressed?
Tip: We all get stressed from time to time. It is one of the most natural feelings in the world. Try not to worry too much about it, but definitely do acknowledge stress. I know this is hard but do try. Once you acknowledge and admit you are stressed, you can now do something about it. One suggestion is to ask for help from family, friends, work colleagues, or ideally your manager, because you are in it together or you should be.
If possible, ask your manager for some advice and coaching on how to deal with work stress. If you do not feel that you can ask your manager for advice in stressful situations, as you are not confident or comfortable, ask a colleague for some advice as a starting point. Of course, if there is a larger issue with your manager that is causing unfair or unwarranted stress, you may need to work for a different manager. Food for thought.
Now is also a good time to think about your physical and emotional energy levels, as covered in the earlier chapter, ‘Manage Your Energy (Ten Factors)’. If you feel physically and emotionally drained this will seriously affect your ability to manage stress.
Above you have five common time management traps and five tips, and again, this chapter started with traps and tips related to goals. I believe when you achieve clarity on your goals, a lot of the rest will begin to take care of itself, in terms of more effectively and efficiently managing your time.
Schedule: Six Traps and Tips
In the last section, I wrote about how to focus on your goals to be more effective. In this segment, I am going to address six typical time management traps and tips associated with your schedule.
Once you have sorted your goals, these need to spill into your schedule. The question now becomes: how do you make the most of your schedule? What is the most effective way? What traps do you have to avoid?
Schedule Trap No. 1: The small stuff is getting in the way
Trap: Do you find that you are getting lots of small stuff done but nothing major achieved? Do you find that you are not making progress on the more challenging items on your list?
Tip: Do Creative Work in Larger Blocks. Think about the creative work you have to do and execute this in larger blocks. Do not do this creative work in interrupted time. Schedule sixty / ninety minutes and do this creative work in a contiguous block. Ideally, do it earlier in the day before your head is swamped with too many other things.
Schedule Trap No. 2: Meetings are killing my schedule
Trap: Do you find that lots of time and energy is wasted in meetings?
Tip: Have meetings later in the day (unless the matter is urgent and delaying the meeting would cause stress). Meetings tend to have an energy all of their own, hopefully good energy, but not always the case I admit! If the meeting has good energy, then you will be carried by it.
As the day goes on and you are a little bit more tired, you will hopefully pick up the energy of that meeting instead of investing more of your own.
Schedule Trap No. 3: My Desk is a Mess!
Trap: Do you find that your workspace is distracting you and does not help your productivity?
Tip: Two computer screens and a tidy desk. For productivity and a better use of your schedule, I recommend two monitors on a moveable arm or one very large screen to give you more free space on your desk. The monitor arms give you more clutter-free space on your desk, which is good for productivity.
There is so much information flying around these days, so much information to process, compare and work through that having two screens where you can look across a wider space and drag-and-drop between the two is a very helpful productivity aid.
There is no point in asking some people to keep a tidy desk but if you can at all rise to this challenge, please try for the sake of a more productive schedule!
Schedule Trap No. 4: Getting Tired
Trap: Do you find that you are getting tired at work?
Tip: Take Breaks. If you want to get more out of your schedule, stop doing work and take some breaks! At least every hour or ninety minutes, take a short break. Walk away and come back. Walk outside and take some fresh air. The suggestion is not to do four to six hours of solid work because you just will not be as productive.
There is plenty of extra advice in the earlier chapter, “Manage Your Energy (Ten Factors)”, if you are feeling more tired than you believe you should be – but for now start with taking breaks away from the desk.
Schedule Trap No. 5: Creativity does not happen at my computer screen
Trap: Do you find it difficult to be inspired and get creative ideas at your desk?
Tip: Get away from your desk! If you have creative work to do such as reviewing a document or creating a new strategy, then get away from your desk and your computer. Find a space that is creative for you.
I have quite an old chair that the office-design folks would prefer to remove from our office, but it is still very comfortable. I sit in that chair with a document or a notepad to get away from my desk and do some of my creative thinking there, even though it is only three feet away! Similarly at home, I have a go to space in which I find it easier to be creative. This space works for me. Have you a favorite creative space?
Schedule Trap No. 6: Disconnected from my colleagues
Trap: Do you find that you are not always sure what is happening with the team? Do you find that priorities change, and you are not always told? Do you waste time as a result? This can be frustrating.
Tip: Invest in productive team meetings at least once a week. For example, many teams I work with do a daily stand-up for ten minutes or so and a more formal meeting once a week using a pre- set agenda. These sessions are great team communications, and they save a lot of time on the back-and-forth throughout the week.
These are six traps and associated tips to take into consideration to help you make the best use of your schedule all day every day.
Distractions: Seven Traps and Tips
In this section, I am going to talk about the inevitable distractions and interruptions that eat away at your time. I will walk you through seven of the most common traps that may distract you from a productive schedule. I will also give you seven tips to help minimize these distractions.
Distractions Trap No. 1: I Am So Connected
Trap: I know it sounds like a blessing that you are always connected via email, social media, text messages, and mobile phones but this is also a major trap! It is so easy for others to interrupt you, even if this is not the best thing for you right now.
Tip: Set aside specific times of the day when you will manage your email, phone messages and your social media, for example, in a short slot before lunch and perhaps in the hour before you leave in the evening.
There are many obvious advantages to this practice, the main one being that your communications are much more effective and enjoyable because you are not snatching at emails quickly. You are now saying, ‘For this hour, I am doing emails and my other communications. I will do them well and enjoy doing them and I am not feeling guilty because I should be working something important.’
Distractions Trap No. 2: Email
Trap: It is amazing how much time we lose by managing email poorly.
Tip: Develop a systematic, but simple way, to manage your email. Do not just “do email”. If you do not have an approach, the next chapter (“Save Time – Manage Your Email (Six Tips)”) will give you a simple process to consider.
Distractions Trap No. 3: The Random Thought
Trap: It is a real gift to have a flow of fabulous ideas. However, the time trap is dropping what you are doing to research and action every idea when it comes. Before you know it, you are distracted!
Tip: To overcome this trap, have a simple place to write down these ideas. For example, I use a combination of Microsoft OneNote and Microsoft Outlook Tasks. With Outlook I create a task scheduled for action at some day in the future and come back to it at that point to play with the idea in a more relaxed way.
Distractions Trap No. 4: The To-Do list
Trap: We absolutely need the to-do list. It is a vital asset in our time management toolbox. The trap is letting your to-do list become your daily work and the main priority. Sometimes you do this because it is easier to do, but in this scenario, you are not achieving what you really need to achieve.
Tip: Have a daily slot allocated for your to-do list. Pick off a few items, get them done, typically later in the day, and then happily mark them off one-by-one.
You can, of course, steal minutes and hours throughout the day where you can get these smaller and often important to-dos’ completed. You call your mother as you drive to work. You finish a chunk of larger work earlier than expected (maybe because you focus on it and it alone!) and you then do a few smaller but important items from your to-do list before you start your next scheduled major item of work.
Distractions Trap No. 5: I Can Multi-Task
Trap: Another big trap: multi-tasking! I wager when you measure the time taken to do three things at once, you will find it takes longer than if you did one after the other in sequence and with more focus. Moreover, sustained multi-tasking is more stressful.
Tip: Pick 15/30/60/90 minutes to do one thing really well instead of stressing yourself trying to do three things at once. It is good to have the multi-tasking skill, but use it when you have to and not as a default, as this can be a real time trap, and a health hazard.
Distractions Trap No. 6: Open Office Communication
Trap: I work in a fabulous, wonderfully designed modern open office. However, it can be a trap when people come up and they think, ‘Oh it is so easy to get to Éamonn, let me ask him now’.
Tip: Develop some protocol for working in the open office, so you do not get constantly distracted. You want to encourage communication and collaboration, but you might say to these people, “Jack, I am looking forward to talking to you about this; let me finish what I am doing, and I will come back to you later”. Nine times out of ten, this will be just fine. Every now and again, it will be urgent for that person to meet sooner and of course, you will need to accommodate this.
Distractions Trap No. 7: Your Personal Time Waster (e.g., Time “TV Channel / Internet Surfing”)
Trap: Most of us do something that is a complete waste of time! Mine is (or used to be) to surf through the TV channels looking for something better to watch! What is yours? Maybe it is spending too much time online? Take this example – if I were to spend 15 minutes of unproductive / unenjoyable time TV channel surfing every day, then by my calculations this is the equivalent of three years of my working life! Now that is a lot of time wasted!
Tip: Figure out what your vice is. What wastes your time? What takes away your energy? Figure how many minutes it sucks from you each day and do the math. This calculation might help you stop or at least cut down!
Above, my friends, are seven traps and tips to help you manage the inevitable distractions that eat away at your time.
Summary of ‘Manage Your Time – Traps and Tricks’
We started this chapter with a quote from Benjamin Franklin: “Dost thou love life? And of course, the assumed answer is: you do. Then the quote went on to say: Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff that life is made of.”
This chapter has given you eighteen tips to overcome the many traps and distractions that get in your way of having a productive week. These distractions happen to everyone – what differentiates us is how we deal with them.
This chapter presented:
- Five tips to help you achieve your goals
- Six tips to help better manage your schedule
- Seven tips to help you work around the inevitable distractions that take away from your time.
Questions for a “Time Management” REP
Did this chapter help you identify ways to deal with the inevitable traps that trip you up when trying to manage your time effectively and efficiently?
Start: Set a goal to adopt one or two of these time management tips when you are ready or feel the need to REP this area.
Evolve: Make time to return to the other tips as needed.
Save Time – Manage Your Email (Six Tips)
Introduction
We live in an incredibly connected world. At any given time, your desktop, phone, tablet, maybe your watch, might be beeping with new email notifications. However, all these emails are distracting you from what you had decided to do right now.
Motivation: Why Manage Your Email?
Did you know for every five unnecessary minutes you spend on email each day; you are tracking to lose one full work year of your life? Then double this to ten and fifteen unnecessary minutes spent on email each day. Yikes! Crazy, I know! In the image below, you can see how these calculations are made. Feel free to adjust these calculations so they are real for you.
The Essence
This chapter will give you six tips to help you manage email more effectively and the next chapter gives four tips to help you better use Microsoft Outlook to save time. The main message of these two chapters is as follows: If you manage email more effectively and more efficiently then you can save and recover significant amounts of time.
Time Out
As we start this chapter, take a few minutes to yourself to ask yourself these questions:
- Does email hinder your productivity from time to time? Where is this email drain on your time?
- What do you think you can do to stop these leaks?
Email Management – Six Tips
It is amazing to think that something as productive as email can sap your productivity. In any event, here follows six tips to help you redress this and minimize the productivity drain.
Email Tip No. 1: Set Special Time Aside
You should set aside a specific time or times each day to do email – maybe just before lunch and before you finish in the evening.
Let me expand. You know the alerts that pop up every time you receive an email? You get a message in your tray or you get an alert on your screen or both. Switch them both off right now! You do not need these distractions. Whether on your phone, your PC, or another device, being constantly interrupted by an email which is not relevant to what you are doing right now makes absolutely no sense – turn these off. I acknowledge that there may be some emergency situations when you need these alerts and if so turn them back on as needed.
Allied to this, do not always open your inbox. If you have your email open because you need it for work, for whatever project work you are doing, then do not have your cursor in the inbox, because waiting for all those new emails to come in will distract you from what you should be doing right now. Ideally, when you are not doing email, turn off Outlook. Do not have your email open all day, as it is a serious productivity drain.
Now if you are thinking that you need access to your email for some of your project work, I understand. In these situations, have your email open and have your cursor sit in the Drafts folder, so you can get access to the older emails without getting distracted by the stream of new emails arriving in your Inbox.
By setting a specific time aside for email, you are going to feel: “I am now doing email, I can do it in a less stressed way, and I can actually enjoy doing it guilt-free. I can do it well.”
Email Tip No. 2: Clear your Inbox
Clear your inbox at least once a day or at a minimum once a week. This is going to be pretty radical for some people but worth the effort. Having ten, twenty, hundreds or thousands of emails in your Inbox to search through is a complete distraction and a waste of time.
In Tip No. 6, we will give you a very systematic approach to help you manage your inbox better if you are not sure how.
Email Tip No. 3: One Archive folder and Search to Find Emails
Do not create multiple folders to store different types of emails. If you have many email folders, you will spend time trying to figure which folder to put the email in and extra time trying to find that folder.
Even worse, when you need to find an email, you will have to waste time looking through folders to find the required email. The more folders you have, the more time you waste.
Microsoft and most email systems give you a standard set of folders like Inbox, Draft, Outbox, Sent and Deleted. Keep these folders! The nice thing about these folders is emails automatically move between them. The suggestion is you create one extra folder and call it ‘Archive’. Then put all the emails that you want to keep into the ‘Archive’ folder.
A variant on this theme is helpful if you use the same email address for work and for personal email. In this scenario you might have two Archive folders (e.g., Archive-Work and Archive- Personal). An alternative is that you setup an email address for personal stuff like credit cards, bank, flight bookings, etc.
Some emails are deleted anyway so they take care of sorting themselves. Put anything you want to keep into ‘Archive’ and then learn how to use ‘Search’ (and we will explain in the next chapter how to do this). Once you learn how to use ‘Search’ to manage your emails, it will save you a huge amount of time.
Email Tip No. 4: Pre-Composed Emails
If you think about it, you are probably asked some questions repeatedly. Apart from the fact that this can be frustrating, you typically do not have the time to answer well. Create an email to keep in your Drafts folder, or another folder, and take the extra time to answer those common questions very well in that one draft email.
When you are asked questions again and again, go to your Drafts folder, copy the answer, and paste it into the email that you are replying to. You will then have time to contextualize it, personalize it and send off a considered answer that will really help and impress the recipient. You will also feel much better about the more considered email response you are giving to that person.
Email Tip No. 5: Do not Answer When Angry or Give Bad News
Tip No. 5 might seem like an unusual one. Do not, whatever you do, answer an email when angry and do not give bad news or very critical feedback on email.
If you receive an email that makes you boil inside, do not reply and whatever you do, please do not “reply-all”. Now if you must answer the email, write an answer, and save it but do not send it. Come back a day later and review it. My advice is still not to send very critical feedback on email, but if you must, review and edit it again one day later and then send it.
If you have bad news to give or very critical feedback to deliver; if there is a row you want to have or if there is some stressful situation to deal with, do not deal with it in an email. Physically go to the person and have a one-on-one private meeting or phone the person at a place where they can take the call with some privacy.
Now apart from the fact that these tips are good etiquette and a better way to treat people, no matter how they treat you, you might well ask, ‘Why are these tips in a time management chapter?’ The reason is if you answer emails when angry or you send bad news on email, you are going to waste more time in the long-run dealing with the fall-out, so using email in this situation is not a time-saver. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Trust me, I have made this mistake!
Email Tip No. 6: Have an Email Management Process
We get so much email that there is no way you should do email in a haphazard way. As email is something you do so often, you should have a simple process for email management. Here are five options on how to process an email. You may break this down into something simpler, but this will hopefully get you started:
- Option 1: Read and Delete – Read it once or do not, and delete. It is now gone out of your Inbox.
- Option 2: Read and File – Read it once and file it in your Archive folder, not in one of thirty other folders. Read it, understand it, and put it away immediately into your Archive folder. Get it out of your Inbox. If you need it again, you can search for it.
- Option 3: Read, Reply and File – Read it and reply immediately. Do not leave it so that you reply later. Reply right now. Remember, you are in the zone and you have set aside an hour or so specifically to do your emails. In this system, you are not checking emails on your phone between meetings where you cannot reply properly to them and they are distracting you. Read and reply right now and then either delete the email or file it in that one Archive folder so it is gone out of your Inbox and addressed. Again, you have handled the email just once.
- Option 4: Read, Flag and File- You read the email, and think, ‘OK, I need to do something with this, but I cannot respond properly today’. In this case flag the email for follow up on a future day and then file the email away in your Archive folder. Another email gone from your Inbox. Gone but not forgotten, because it is flagged!
- Option 5: Read, Quick-Reply, Flag and File – You read it and you think, ‘Oh, I need way more time for this’, but the person is looking for a response, as it requires me to do some work, that you do not have time for right now. Read it, reply, and say, ‘I will get back to you in a day or two’. Maybe set some time expectation if you wish, but acknowledge the email, so that they know you have it and then flag it for follow up. Use Outlook or some such email client to put a flag on the email, so that it goes to a particular day in the future when you believe you will have time. Then file the email in your Archive folder. Now the email is gone out of your Inbox and the next time you think about the email is the day in which you need to respond to it. This email will not distract you every time you trip across it in your inbox.
The key here is that you only process each email once, or maximum twice in some cases. The goal is that you have an Inbox that is clear and you are not tripping over the same stuff repeatedly.
This concludes the six tips for making email a much more productive experience. I am not suggesting that you will get to every single tip tomorrow morning, but pick a few that work for you and come back a week or two later if these tips worked, and then pick a few more and gradually implement them until you get a better way to manage your inbox and your email.
Summary of ‘Save Time – Manage Your Email’
The start of this chapter explained that: “For every five unnecessary minutes each day you spend on email; you are on track to lose one year of your work life!”
This chapter explains six tips to help you manage email more effectively and the next chapter gives four tips to help you better use Microsoft Outlook (or some such similar email software). These tips will help you save five or more minutes wasted on email every day, so you can save a year of your working life!
Questions for an “email Management” REP
Where do you now stand on your email management approach?
Start: Pick two or three practices you think will really help you use email more effectively and efficiently. Practice these when you are ready or feel the need to REP this area.
Evolve: Come back later to work the remaining practices.
Save Time – Microsoft Outlook (Four Tips)
This chapter explains four tips to make the best use of Microsoft Outlook (or similar email software packages) to optimize your time management. If you do not spend much time on email, this chapter will have limited appeal to you, so please do feel free to skip it. If, however, you are like me, and email is a communication mechanism you use a lot, then this chapter will probably help. Why? I see so many people use Outlook like it was 1999 and they are not taking advantage of the advances in the product.
Outlook Tip No.1: Shut it Down!
The first tip is to shut Outlook down! Close it! Turn it off! The last thing you need is to be distracted by emails all the time, so shut it off.
When you shut it off you can still use Outlook. If you look in the tray on your computer, you should see the Microsoft Outlook icon. Right-mouse-click on the icon to access a menu as you can see below.
This menu will allow you to perform quick actions like writing an email or creating a task. You can still use the basic features of Outlook without ever switching it on. When you write a new email in this fashion, the email will go to your Outbox and sends once Outlook is reopened. You have now created an email or a follow- up task without ever fully starting Outlook and getting distracted by the many other emails in your inbox. Whew!
Outlook Tip No. 2: Use Flags
In the prior chapter, we talked about using flags to process email and here is an example. In my Inbox, you see that I have an email, but I am not ready to deal with it now. I need to give it quality time later.
In this case I right-mouse-click on that email and a number of options appear. One of them is ‘Follow Up’. I single-click on the ‘Follow Up’ option flag for follow up to today, tomorrow, next week, or a more specific date.
In the above screenshot I am saying, ‘Follow Up’ tomorrow. It now becomes a task on tomorrow’s calendar. I then move the email to my Archive folder, and it is now gone out of my Inbox and out of my way. The distraction is removed.
When tomorrow comes and I am looking at what I have to do for the day, I will see this email as a ‘Follow Up’ task with the attachment. At the time of the day when I am handling tasks, I will process this one carefully. Once I have processed the email, I can then mark it complete. The email is now gone from my ‘Task’ list. The suggestion/tip is to learn how to use ‘Tasks’ and the ‘Follow Up’ flag as a way to handle emails by bringing the emails to a time and place when you are ready to deal with them. This gets
them out of your Inbox and your headspace in the meantime.
Outlook Tip No. 3: Use ‘Search’
In the last chapter, we talked about using ‘Search’ to find emails instead of having multiple folders.
The scenario we are dealing with now is that you have old emails in one ‘Archive’ folder or maybe in lots of different folders if you are not using this system. In either case, you now want to find an old email.
In your head you are thinking, ‘I got an email from Slater? Was it to Anderson? Was it about updates?’
What do you do? Instead of crawling through multiple folders and looking for the needle in the haystack, put your cursor in the Outlook ‘Search’ box to access the Outlook ‘Search’ ribbon. Now you can use the ribbon to build your search or once you get used to ‘Search’, you can start typing, e.g. “From:slater To:anderson update”. Search will hunt through all your email folders including the deleted and sent emails, and it will bring back any emails that satisfies these criteria.
‘Search’ can be used to mimic your thought process and is much faster than manually searching multiple folders. Learn how to use search. Take the five to ten minutes. It will save you a huge amount of time.
Outlook Tip No. 4: Use Tasks
We all have a “To–Do” list – or we should have! Why not manage your “To–Do” list in the Outlook ‘Task’ folder? Every time you think of something to do, just add a task to Outlook. There is also a nice feature called “recurring task”. Every time you complete the task, it reappears one week or month later as you specify. Tasks can then be viewed:
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in the Outlook Task list
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in the Task pane of your Outlook calendar – so you can see the tasks for a particular day
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on your phone, on a browser on any PC.
Questions for an “email Management” REP
Start: Pick one of the Microsoft Outlook tips that you think might be of help and try it out when you are ready or feel the need to REP this area.
Evolve: Work the remaining tips that look useful in the weeks ahead as part of this REP.